In less than three months we will be welcoming our third baby boy to the family. We have been spending some of our free time getting ready for our new arrival. And when I say “getting ready” I mean that we are moving our other two boys to a shared room (which is taking the most time) and putting up one of the used cribs we have in the basement. We may even pull out the Pack ‘n Play for giggles and wash up some of the old newborn stuff I have packed away. But that will likely be the extent of it. There won’t be a fully decked out nursery for him to move into and he will still be perfectly content.
When our first son was born we were kind of launched into parenthood unexpectedly {see his story here}. So we truly learned how to parent without having a designated room for our son. We as newlyweds at the time lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment and spent the first few months of our son’s life with him sharing our room with us. We had a second hand bassinet, hand me down clothes that had been given to us and *gasp* no changing table! But do you know what happened without all those things? You guessed it. Our son made it happily through without the beautifully decorated nursery with the matching shams and bedding.
It was through that experience that we learned that babies, newborns especially, really didn’t need all the fancy gadgets and decor in order to function and be happy and healthy. While I love the look of a gorgeous, coordinated newborn nursery it simply isn’t necessary. It’s unfortunate because it’s become such a cultural norm to spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on new furniture, decoration, bedding and all the swings and gadgets you can imagine for your precious new bundle of joy.
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a nice, dedicated bedroom for your baby that he or she will grow up in. But that’s just the thing. Instead of spending all the time, money and effort on a room that your baby will outgrow in a year or two, why not just make it functional from birth – school age? Because the best kept secret for first time parents to know is that your baby will be spending very little time in that room for a majority of his or her first years of life that you spent hours, days, possibly even weeks preparing for them.
My biggest issue with the traditional nursery is it’s stressful. When I’m pregnant I don’t like adding to my list of things to do before baby arrives and having to build a nursery just seems daunting and overwhelming. Picking a theme, trying to come up with all the money to put together said theme and then execute? Yuck. I’d much rather be catching a nap since my days of feeling well rested from getting full nights of sleep are soon to be over.
When my second son was born he went immediately to sharing a room with his older brother which was convenient since they’re only 13 months apart, but nonetheless, we knew from experience that the most we needed for him was his own crib. So they spent the next year sharing a room with two cribs, a small dresser that doubled as a changing table and that was it! And again, here we are, nearly two and half years later and he’s just fine.
I feel like we got lucky in that we didn’t fall into the trap most first time parents fall into thinking they need to have a nursery. We were thrust into parenthood unprepared and made due with what we had. At the time I was freaking out and panicking over not having enough room or having all the things our baby needed, but looking back I am SO GRATEFUL because it taught me how little babies need in those first months of life and how little they care about that specially decorated room.
The first year of your baby’s life will fly by. Keep your life simple, that first year is stressful enough. They don’t need a lot except your love and attention. All the other things can wait a little bit longer.
Did you build a nursery for your baby before they were born? Or did you go theat non-traditional route?
