Ever wonder why people feel like they can say whatever they want to pregnant women? Pregnant mamas everywhere, you are not alone. And it’s (unfortunately) not just men that make those comments. Women that have gone through the birthing process themselves have been caught with their foot in their mouth!
I tapped into my mommy network and was able to get my hands on some overused and unfortunate comments you may have come across during those 40 {long} weeks. Sit back, relax, and reminisce about your awkward run-ins with people that have no filter. And whatever you do, don’t repeat these to the next pregnant woman you see.
1. Comments about her size.
It’s the easiest comment to make. Her waistline is expanding but it is ultimately the most insecure part of her body. She’s not used to not being able to see her toes or bend over; and you pointing that out to her is not helping the situation. She’s pregnant and growing a child. Her stomach is bound to get bigger. Just leave it be or if you must say something, at least tell her how beautiful she looks.
“Are you having twins, because you’re huge!”
“Are there two in there?!”
“Wow! You look big!”
“How much did you weigh before you got pregnant and how much do you weigh now?”
“I can’t tell, have you lost all the baby weight?”
“At least now you look pregnant instead of fat.”
2. Comments about her eating habits.
The first trimester, in particular, is often rough; nothing sounds delicious and some women have morning sickness and aren’t able to keep much down in terms of food. You don’t know what her day has been like so it’s really not your place to comment on what she is or isn’t eating. Plus this is the one time when it’s socially acceptable for a woman to gain 30+ lbs. and eat ice cream & potato chips for breakfast. Let her eat in peace.
“I wouldn’t eat too much of X; you’ll get fat.”
“Eating for two I see…”
“That baby must be hungry!”
“You should probably lay off the chips and eat more protein.”
3. Comments about the gender of her unborn baby.
Most of the time this question is meant to be endearing, however, the ones that follow it sometimes aren’t. Just because you could never not know the gender of your child doesn’t mean everyone else should have to find out (and vice versa). If she has made the decision to keep the gender a surprise, keep the wive’s tales to yourself and stop guessing what you think “it” might be. Additionally, when she’s pregnant with her second or third or fourth child, it’s probably not wise to ask if she’s “trying for a boy/girl” considering she has no control over the situation.
“What are you having?”
“You’re having a girl… I can tell because your lips are full, your nose is wide and your butt is big.”
“Baby number three… how exciting. I bet you hope it’s a boy, huh?”
4. Comments about her unborn baby’s name.
Remember back in kindergarten when you learned that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all? That still applies as you age. You don’t have to live with her child so you don’t get to have an opinion on her child’s name. A simple smile and an, “oh how lovely,” will suffice.
“Do you have a name picked out?” “Yes, it’s Aubrey.” “Oh.” (makes a disgusted face)
“Are you sure that’s what you what to name her?”
“Well that’s an interesting name. I hope he knows how to spell it before he goes to school.”
5. Comments about her “still” being pregnant during the final trimester.
By week 38, she’s getting antsy. Week 39, she’s trying every trick in the book to get that baby to drop. By week 40, she’s over being pregnant. If her belly looks like it’s about to explode, she’s probably still pregnant and probably doesn’t want another person to make a comment about her impending due date. Trust me, she’ll let you know when baby safely arrives.
“You’re still pregnant?!”
“When are you due?”
“Haven’t you had that baby yet?”
“You look like you’re ready to pop!”
P.S. For all expecting moms out there, I loved directing people to this website once you reach the point of not being able to calmly answer this question anymore.
6. Comments that are just ridiculous.
This last section is for all of the random questions, comments and advice that people will throw toward an expecting mom. They’re the common sense, inappropriate, discouraging, etc. questions no one should be thinking, let alone making verbal.
“Did you stop drinking?”
“Get sleep now because you won’t be sleeping once the baby comes.”
“Don’t you hate it when strangers touch your belly?” (As they grope your stomach).
“I don’t know what it is but pregnant woman are so attractive.”
“Aren’t you too old to have a baby?”
“Do you plan on breastfeeding?” “Yes.” “Oh, it’ll wreck your boobs.”
“So…when’s baby #2 coming?” (approximately 3 weeks after baby #1 is born)
There it is, ladies and gents, a complied list of all the things people think it’s okay to say to a pregnant woman. My recommendation to all men and women out there, if you have to think to yourself, “I hope she doesn’t take this personally,” you probably shouldn’t ask her what’s running through your head.
Did someone say something completely inappropriate/rude/ridiculous/etc. to you while you were pregnant? Share in the comments below!
Meijer trip in the morning. My cell phone and iPad have saved my life (a little dramatic, sure) so many times during nighttime feedings and even those before naptime. Feeding your baby (breast or bottle) is a daunting task for the first few months as you’re both getting the hang of it. I embrace that unlimited data plan and use it to its full potential. By 4AM I’ve likely learned something new, found an outfit (or six) for baby’s upcoming photoshoot, and/or have baby’s first birthday planned on Pinterest.
