Dear Online Fitness Coach, I’m Not Interested

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Dear Online Fitness Coach,

I’m not interested. I know why you’re here. It’s a mix of financial freedom, superfoods, and girl power. Generally I’m a proponent of all three, but when combined, they land strangers and once acquaintances in my DMs, feigning small talk.

Before you get upset, know that I was you once. For a short stint I was a Beachbody coach, and it changed my life for the better…until it didn’t. I committed to the workouts and the healthy lifestyle, and I looked great. I felt great, too. And like most things in life, it eventually got away from me. Seasons, #amiright?

I’ve lost that hustle. I can no longer rise and grind. I’m not asking you to stop; I don’t think what you’re doing is ridiculous, but I’m not going on this journey with you because there are two types of coaches and you’re the fake kind.

You found me with a hashtag, or you liked one or three of my pictures without reading the caption to find out who I really am. You commented on a picture with an Emoji or generic compliment. You’re going to give it a few days to see if I take the bait and follow back. And I take huge issue with your strategy because you run your platform on the basis of helping and empowering women, but you unfollow them before you have the chance.

Let me tell you what you didn’t take the time to learn: I am six months postpartum with twins, I have a toddler at home, and girl, you already know how weary I am. I am not your ideal candidate because I don’t want to be. I am not going to wake up an hour before my kids do, I am not going to start journaling, I am not going to reframe my thinking in a positive way and look at my children as my “reason.” They are my excuse, and I am going to milk it a little while longer. And truthfully, you don’t get to decide whether or not I have the time, energy, or resources to prioritize myself.

Your training tells you that the more I see your before and afters, your never miss a Mondays, your pep talks where you balance just the right amount of positivity and tough love, the closer I will get to signing up. Committing to myself if you will, but I’m not choosing me right now; I’m choosing survival.

Accountability is the secret sauce, right? Checking in. It was fun at first, but then I found it to be a real distraction from my family. It felt like just another social media platform taking my time and energy. The notifications on my phone drove me batty even when they’re wrapped up with a pretty bow and called self-care. And besides, I don’t want to conveniently workout in my home anymore. I try to escape every chance I get and the grocery store just isn’t cutting it.

I know your method is the best. Your meal plan/supplements/anti-impact/high intensity is the ticket. I believe it has transformed your life and those around you, but your gym selfies don’t show me that, not in a way that appeals to me. If you want to change women’s lives, cultivate relationships with them and go from there. Inspire them with connection, and aim for your interactions to be as organic as the food you eat.

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