All Your Husband Wants for Christmas is Sex


I could actually stop right here, but for the sake of the skeptics, I’ll continue.

Stop agonizing over what completely unnecessary thing you’ll spend too much money on for your husband this year. He literally wants nothing more than some alone time with you, even if it doesn’t last long, even if it doesn’t involve everything it did before having kids, it doesn’t have to be some elaborate event, it just needs to happen. You have THE ONE THING no other gift giver can give him, and while it’s true, you can give it to him any ol’ day of the year, you probably don’t.

Before you launch into attack mode, I’m not suggesting that women hate sex and that men are uncontrollable animals. I’m saying that women’s lives are increasingly hectic, our hormones are powerful things (for better or worse), many of us struggle with post-baby body image, and someone always needs something from us, making sex more often than not, a casualty of war.

Wondering how much sex is “normal?” Most married couples have sex, on average, between 58 and 68 times per year, according to multiple studies. And that’s more than their unmarried peers do. So that figure isn’t bad, but men could always use more. There’s undeniable biology at play here. In one study, researchers found men think about sex an average of 36 times per week, whereas women think about it 18 times. And that pool of individuals sampled was in their 20’s. I’d venture to say the stats change after having kids, especially for women.

How should you go about this gift giving? That depends on your life as it is now. The point of this present is to break out of the usual routine, so I suggest a little spontaneity.


I’ll volunteer my life as a tribute for a moment to hammer this concept home (um, no pun intended). When my husband’s birthday rolled around this year, neither one of us could remember what I got him last year, even though I took him to an epic Lumineers concert! This year, we went on a very simple date . . . and pulled over on a side street before heading home to relieve the babysitter. He will never forget where he was or what he did for his 29th birthday. This isn’t because the man never gets laid. It’s because married guys don’t get the rush of not knowing exactly how a date night will play out anymore.

So put your credit card away, unless you plan to use it in a lingerie store. Gifts won’t be necessary; your husband’s on the naughty list this year!



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