From a very early age, I saw two spectrums of what a mother looked like. I spent my childhood with my birth mom as well as with my stepmom. This led me to growing up with two polar opposite views.
The Definition of a Mom
At one end of the spectrum, I had my mom that built a powerful business from the ground up. She prioritized education and mastering her skills. This left little time for extra curricular activities and one-on-one time. At the other end of the spectrum, I had my mom that catered her life around her children. The chaperone at every field trip.
I remember the first time I got pregnant. To be completely honest, I was neither happy nor sad. I was not really trying to have a baby, but honestly was also not trying not to. As I watched my belly grow, I slowly started to accept the fact that ready or not, I was going to be a mom.
That pregnancy ended prematurely. Just when I had embraced my destiny, it was abruptly ripped away. I sat in that moment full of guilt. That day, I vowed if I had children to appreciate every moment. Although it was a struggle, I was blessed with two beautiful children. But what type of mom would I choose to be?
Where Would That Leave Me?
I’ll start with saying that what happened next was the beginning of quite a journey. For many years, I struggled with guilt and shame. When I opened up my spa I had to choose. Would I be present at field trips or build my brand? I wanted to pursue the desires of my heart. Explore my giftings and talents. Have purpose connected outside of my home.
I looked for permission and validation from outside sources. I heard a podcast that would change my perspective. The statement was clear: “We tell our children they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up, but do they see us doing just that?” I am proud of myself, and it might not be in the way you are thinking.
So next came my children’s swim lessons.
They were moved to Monday evenings. I scheduled myself business before I knew I would need to make this move. The dilemma was clear: I knew because of the time I would either not be fully present for my kids because I would need to take my call at the pool, or I would need to release taking them. It was in that moment that I made a decision.
Finally, it was time to release. I chose to show my children what it looks like to be a mom in business. What I want them to remember is that when I was present, I was fully present. But I also want them to remember that their mom built something that would touch the lives of many, and they can, too.
Mama, you don’t need permission from others. Build something you will be proud of. Whether that is inside or outside your home, release the expectations of what it will look like.