Whether you’ve just become a new mom, or you’re about to welcome your first, you’re probably learning that the new baby bliss isn’t always as blissful as you had imagined! Being a new mom is hard as you navigate this new role. Give yourself a break and check out these five new mom promises it’s okay to break (or keep!).
I will not let my baby’s schedule control my life.
This is a very popular new mom promise! Whether you’ve read every book about sleep training, or you’re committed to the eat-play-sleep routine, trying to get baby on a schedule can definitely make your life easier.
But . . . babies don’t work that way. Just like us, every child’s personality is different and unique. While some newborns may thrive with this type of routine, most babies want what they want, when they want it. Add things like cranky days, colds, teething, and unplanned bouts of hunger to the list, and you’ll find yourself totally off track.
Babies are also constantly changing; what worked when they were one month old may not work at three months. Some babies have witching hours, which make schedules impossible, and others start to reverse cycle at some point, among other changes.
If trying to follow this schedule is stressing you out more than helping–STOP. However, if your baby is thriving and this is something you feel is benefiting your well-being, then keep at it! You don’t have to keep this promise . . . but you can totally stick to it too!
I will not wear yoga pants every day.
This was definitely on my list of new mom promises! I really missed my old clothes and was tired of maternity wear. The second I could fit into my old jeans, I was going to get dressed and go places!
The reality is that being a new mom is completely exhausting. Most days you don’t care what you wear. When you’re constantly nursing on the couch or laying on the floor with babe for tummy time, restrictive pants or tops can just be annoying. Newborns don’t care about fashion, and chances are you aren’t seeing that many other people.
If wearing your comfy pants seven days a week is what’s working for you, DO IT!
Some moms want to get back into shape ASAP, and that’s a totally fair and normal goal to have for yourself. Other new moms find they just don’t care, or don’t have the energy to get back to their old size. Many new moms are also getting used to their new bodies. So, there’s no rush one way or the other to get yourself out of those yoga pants if you aren’t ready!
I will only feed my kid the healthiest meals.
Some moms breastfeed while others use formula, and those are both healthy and amazing choices for your baby! But, if you’ve found you’ve been adding fancy food processors and baby food bottling kits to your registry, slow down.
All moms want only the healthiest for their children but one of the biggest lessons new moms learn is that something a little less than healthy isn’t going to harm your child.
It’s okay if you don’t spend hours in your kitchen making an entire menu of organic, fresh baby food. There are so many options out there! If making your own food brings you peace of mind then you rock, mom! But, if you’re freaking out because you don’t have the time, money, or patience to source all the best vitamins and minerals, guess what–many companies have done that for you!
You don’t need to grab the first jar off the shelf; there are a ton of healthy baby foods out there, or you can even give baby-led weaning a go!
If baby only wants to eat sweet potatoes and refuses everything else, that’s okay too! They’re learning along with you. Take it slow and remember these experiences are new for both of you!
I will not let my home turn into a Toys-R-Us.
Well, that’s a new mom promise we’ve all made. If you’re looking around your house wondering how the toy bin exploded, you are not alone!
Kids leave their toys everywhere, even babies! A singing elephant here and three burp cloths over there, the Boppy pillow somehow ended up in the kitchen, and the bathtub toys are in the laundry room–that’s normal. It’s just part of being a mom.
As your child grows you’ll slowly adjust how to get things back into their places quickly, or teach kids techniques to help clean up, so don’t stress! If you’re used to an immaculate household, this can definitely trigger anxiety and if that’s the case then definitely find some time or help to get your home organized.
Or, you can just roll with it like many new moms do. Don’t let what you see on social media about newborn moms and perfectly put together houses fool you–the secret is, they don’t turn the camera around!
My partner and I will be a strong team.
Having a baby with someone is a unique and beautiful experience, and yes, it truly brings you together. However, the new baby bliss doesn’t always last as long as you might think. Most new moms have experienced the newborn stress fighting: one part total sleeplessness, two parts being a little scared of getting it right, and a pinch of “why are they still crying!” makes the perfect mixture for cranky, stressed out, and snappy parents. This is 100% normal. You aren’t a bad couple if you just freak out sometimes.
New moms are also racing with intense hormones that make us do all sorts of things–cry, yell, even feel feelings we can’t explain. Communication is the key to success, but it can also be tough when you’re on four hours of sleep for three days straight.
Remember that you ARE still a team, and a team sometimes disagrees. This is a brand new experience for both of you, and it’s a little scary too. Keep in mind that your spouse or partner is doing their best and remind them that you’re trying, too! You don’t have anything to prove to anyone; the only thing you have to do is love on and take care of your new baby!
Keep this promise: I will give myself grace.
The bottom line of being a new mom–just give yourself grace. There’s no way to foresee what tiny or huge challenges you’ll face as a new mom, and each baby is so different. You are doing a GREAT JOB!
No matter what you may have promised or planned, allow yourself to change course, adjust, be flexible, and just go with the flow when you can! Congratulations, and enjoy those sweet new baby snores when the world gives you time to slow down!
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