“I can’t.”
“It’s too hard.”
The lack of self-confidence is deafening – intrusive and bossy – taking over the mind, the soul, the spirit. The body paralyzed by fear, the mind crippled by the flood of what can go wrong. It threatens the future, spoils the present and drags the baggage of the past along with it. Past failures are doomed to be a reoccurring theme. The words “you can’t”, “you won’t” and “that’s not for you” carry with them a heavy torrent of expected disappointment and failure – the kind that makes dreams blurry at best, goals wash away and accomplishment seem like it’s in the rear view mirror, becoming more and more distant.
The most devastating part is that these feelings are often in the hearts and minds of young people – children right on the cusp of realizing who they are and who they want to be. How do we fix this before it sets our future on a misguided and tumultuous course?
How do we prevent this negativity from seeping into the minds of our young people? How do we reroute the GPS and send kids north of their own expectations and take self-doubt off the map?
TOUGH LOVE. I have a confession to make. I didn’t go into teaching for the summers off and the sweet 7-3 schedule (yeah…not so much). I went into it because I had a few people who were RELENTLESS in pushing me to my potential, and then some. I went into teaching because I was willing to do the same: to be that annoying voice saying ‘do this again’, ‘this isn’t your best’, ‘what were you thinking’?
I went into teaching to HEAR my students when they need to let it out, guide them when they are lost (even if they don’t know it).
I went into teaching because I know it’s more than the books, more than the homework and assessments, Common Core and data. It’s about being tough when you need to be, so that students will grow and become productive members of this world – not just academically, but in their community, to one another. And you know what? Those 15-hour work days and up-all-nights are ALL.WORTH.IT because of the self-doubt I can erase, the growth I can celebrate and the smiles I get to make happen.
STUBBORNNESS. Be willing to let them try it again, do it again. Don’t GIVE THEM THE OPTION TO DO ANYTHING LESS THAN THEIR ABSOLUTE BEST. Be willing to be hated – and then loved. Be willing to be IGNORED and then wait for it…THEY HEARD YOU. IT SANK IN.
PRESENCE. Be REAL. BE RAW. BE THERE. You would be surprised how making it to a basketball game or coming to hear a science fair presentation changes things. Children see that THEY MATTER. This carries more power than anything else. Because feeling like you don’t matter can stifle, damage, and hinder EVERYTHING ELSE.
REAL CONVERSATIONS. CONNECTIONS. Take the time share stories with kids. They NEED THAT CONNECTION to learn. Often, it is the difference between ENGAGEMENT and “let’s get this over with.”
This is what will get your students to come back to you. The ones who drove you bananas will come back adjusted, and they REMEMBER your stories. They will apply it to new learning. You gave them the GIFT of background, of perspective and of TIME. Take the time to find out what they like, what makes them tick, and for heaven sake – use IT, integrate IT, let them share IT. Get them talking about IT.
Lastly, but most definitely not least – BE EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED, WANTED, DIDN’T HAVE IN A TEACHER. I personally had a teacher in high school tell me I couldn’t become skilled in math. It wasn’t until college that someone saw something. A professor at U of M – Dearborn turned my mindset upside down. She told me that the very reason you MUST pursue mathematics as part of your specializations is because you understand and identify with the struggle. You see, she read my explanations of what I would do to help a struggling student – and she wrote on my final exam…”You Must Do This.” I was fortunate because she challenged me to question one person’s opinion – one opinion that shaped my whole perception of what I was and what I was good at – for YEARS. What if I wasn’t so lucky? See this Professor of mine (gosh I hope she reads this and I hope it fills her heart with joy) MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE in my world – and consequentially in the lives of others – the children I get to teach – whether it is in a math course or an ELA course – with English Language Learners or not.
My professor reset my compass and set me on a new course. I tell this story to my students. I promise them that I will be relentless when they start to slip. I promise to BE THERE, and I am. I share my life with them daily, and that, my friends, may not seem like much, but its impact will be heard and felt in years to come. Thankfully, I am not alone. I work with some seriously unsung heroes – that are more family than friends. They have a combination of skill and heart that is undoubtedly unique unto its own. For this, I and the kids are equally blessed.
Do YOU have a teacher who shaped or guided your education, who pushed you to be ALL that you could be?
