I love ‘stuff’. Trust me. On any given day, you can expect some type of cardboard box on my porch. Maybe it’s because I’m a millennial or a full-time working mother, but I am the poster child for online purchases.
Every item I need to run my household can be purchased online and delivered to my doorstep within 24-48 hours. However, with that convenience comes overconsumption. And with overconsumption, comes clutter. And, for me, that means a boat load of anxiety.
I don’t know if it was the Netflix documentary Minimalism I watched or Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” I read, but I was intrigued by minimalism. I donated half of my clothes, threw away countless beauty products I never used, and tossed the Tupperware containers taking over my kitchen. With every garbage bag that left my house, the lighter I felt. I realized quickly that we truly don’t need what we think we do. And why live in a home surrounded by clutter? Even if it’s neatly labeled and tucked away in storage boxes, drawers, and closets?
Kids and Clutter
When I became pregnant, the intention of living a more ‘simple and minimalistic’ lifestyle left my brain. I didn’t think that kids and minimalism could exist in the same sentence. Sure, it sounded like a great idea to have a ‘simple’ home when it was just two adults, but there was no way this could happen with all.of.the.things that come with kids.
I was purging my house down even further just so it could be filled with Jumparoos, mamaRoos, and diaperroos (OK, fine, the last one isn’t a real thing). I spent hours perfecting my baby registry and curating perfect newborn outfits. We waited so long to feel the joy of pregnancy that I was soaking in every baby item I could get my hands on. I believed that with every baby item I purchased, the more prepared I would feel. If I felt prepared than I, and others, would truly believe I was capable of being a good mother. It makes me sad putting those thoughts in black and white because it reminds me of how skewed my idea of motherhood was.
In actuality, the more items I bought, the more anxious I felt. The walls of my home were caving in, and each new gimmick that entered my home solidified my thoughts that I was not cut out for this. I remember walking around Buy Buy Baby pregnant and hormonal with a list full of ‘must-haves’. It was so overwhelming registering for nail clippers, spoons, and washcloths that I cried the entire drive home. I was terrified that if I felt overwhelmed now, what would happen when my son arrived?
Combatting the Mess
Since becoming a mother, I have realized how irrational I was. Yes, babies need things. I think we can all agree that the Beatles song “All You Need Is Love” is cute but highly optimistic and extremely false. But, it is possible to maintain a clutter-free home while having children. The amount of ‘things’ I had for my baby did not directly correlate with how good of a mother I was.
It’s been a work in progress, and I definitely would not call myself a true minimalist. I still have moments of weakness (like when the baby is crying at 3 a.m., so you buy gripe water, bottles, a Nosefrida, a new swaddle, and a voodoo doll in hopes you’ll get some sleep). However, our son doesn’t have a ‘playroom.’ He has one small basket and a shelf in his bedroom that houses toys. Our house feels like a home, not a daycare. We aren’t overstimulated with battery-operated toys or tripping over a hundred hot wheels cars. He wears all of his clothes that are mostly hand-me downs from his older cousin or thrifted. And guess what? He’s happy and thriving although he may have ‘less’ than what society says he needs.
I am not an expert on this topic, and I realize that the clutter will multiply as our family grows. However, some things that work for my family in keeping a clutter-free home include the following:
Buy with intention:
This one is probably the hardest, and something I struggle the most with. Just because something is on sale or someone you follow on Instagram recommends it doesn’t mean it needs to find a place in your home. How many times do we say “But it was 50% off!” or “It was their biggest sale of the year!” (Guilty!). In actuality, 50% off is still 50% more than you needed to pay for something that you didn’t need. Your home is yours, and you have the final say about what enters it. Everything that makes its way through your door should be intentional and serve a purpose.
Set Boundaries with Gifts:
Let your family members know your mindset when it comes to items in your home. I am grateful that my son has so many people that love him and want to buy him things, but those things accumulate and get thrown into a basket with his other toys in a matter of hours. Perhaps, instead of gifts, ask for experiences like a Zoo membership or swim lessons. Better yet, maybe that person can accompany your child to that experience and get a chance to have some quality time with them.
Quality over Quantity:
This really goes for anything in our life, but when it comes to baby stuff, it’s a lifesaver. My son doesn’t have a ton of toys, but the ones he has are meaningful and will last for years. They don’t have batteries that need to be replaced, or a million pieces that can get lost. Most of his toys are wooden so they are durable and can grow with him. Some examples of these are wooden blocks, a ring stacker, or an activity cube.
In a society of ‘buy, buy, buy,’ it is so easy to conform. Simplicity isn’t for everyone and having the autonomy to decide what is best for our family is why motherhood is so special. For my family, less is truly more. I am sure this mindset will take on a new meaning when my son asks for everything at the checkout line and when he gets into trends, but for now, I hope I can maintain a clutter-free home and instill those values in my children, too.
