Hello Stay-At-Home Mom Friend-
I am so excited that you have the opportunity to stay at home with your children. While I, on the other hand, went back to work after eleven amazing weeks of maternity leave. Knowing that we are walking a different path, I wanted to share a few things with you about being a working mom.
Before I get started, I wanted to make one thing clear: In no way am I comparing stay-at-home moms to working moms, or trying to show that one is harder than the other.
I just wanted to share a few thoughts on being a working mom, so that as a motherhood community, we can continue to support and raise each other up:
I choose to work. I absolutely love my job, and the company that I work for, and had no question that I would be returning to work after having my son. I spent just as much time working on my leave of absence plans as I did creating my re-entry strategy for post leave. And this is nothing new, I have always been passionate about having a career. My parents recently unearthed a term paper I wrote in third grade outlining my career path and that my ‘future husband would have to deal with my success and that even if I am a Mom, I will be working.’
I am not jealous that you don’t ‘go to work.’ I mean don’t get me wrong, some days I could do without the traffic filled commute, but I really enjoy traveling and engaging individuals on what my company has to offer. And, although stay at home moms may not go to an office like I do every day, I understand that you work too. Just like a lot of my stay-at-home mom friends, you maintain a household (a.k.a. work) and have some kind of a side hustle (a.k.a. a ton of work).
I don’t feel selfish for continuing to work. I don’t feel like I am being selfish by being a working mom and allowing him to attend school. He has great teachers, amazing lesson plans (yes! even for tiny kids like mine!) and little buddies that he gets excited to see every morning. Would I love to spend more time with my son? Sure! Who wouldn’t! If I could tote him around everywhere I went, I would be the first to do it. But knowing that isn’t possible, I am comfortable with the childcare decisions that I have made.
I may say no to Spin Tuesdays or Margarita Wednesdays. Time with my son during the week is super limited. On a typical work day, he wakes up anywhere from 15-20 minutes before I leave for the office, and I have less than two hours from when I pick him up at school to bed time. I cherish every bit of that time, from his morning bottle to his sweet snuggles before bed. It’s not that I don’t still enjoy those pre-baby activities, it is just important for me to get in every moment I can.
I have so much respect for you. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, it is no walk in the park. Motherhood comes with no manual or road map. I know you well enough to know that sometimes we both wing it and hope we made the best choice. And at the end of the day, our conversations, calls and texts are something that I value and couldn’t do without!
At the end of the day, one thing is for sure: I am so happy to have you as a friend. I hope this helps paint a picture on a few things behind the scenes of being a working mom
With love, Jesi (and Blake!)
