I launched this adventure called parenthood with all of the wrong tools. I read all of the blogs. Listened to all of the experts. Then, I looked up and realized that I was using a parenting guide instead of customizing my parenting style to each kiddo. For all of you moms with more than one kiddo, you understand. My oldest, Minnie, is independent and sensitive. Her younger sibling, Lynn, is a force to be reckoned with. I refer to her as the person I’d be if consequences weren’t a factor. I applaud her fearlessness and warmth. As you can imagine, they require different parenting styles.
I’ll give you an example:
One day, Minnie was playing with one of her favorite toys and Lynn grabbed it and took off running. (She craves excitement at all times). Minnie became hysterical and came to me for consolation. In this instance, Minnie not only needs me to get her toy back, but she needs a hug. She was devastated and her feelings were hurt. “How dare she take something from me?”
On the other hand, Lynn is a tough cookie. Minnie has taken toys from Lynn before and instead of coming to me, Lynn uses brute force to reclaim what is hers. No tears. (However, I don’t condone violence so that’s what I am working on with her).
See the difference? So, of course, the parenting techniques that I’ve honed (but, unfortunately once I figure something out, their personality changes) have to be customized. Now, I rely more on my gut instinct and make observations. Such as, what makes each kiddo tick? What do they value? How do they communicate?
I am also committed to having quality time with each of my girls to let them know that they are unique and special. This helps me to learn more about them as individuals and adds even more info to my parenting arsenal.
Do you parent each of your kiddos differently or do you find that “one size fits all”? Would love to know what you think. Leave a comment below!
