As mothers it is easy to be swept up by motherhood. It is easy to lose sight of ourselves and who we were prior to becoming moms. As much as we love and adore our children, they are all-consuming. Not that there is anything wrong with the amount of time we give to our children–that time just needs to be balanced with everything else.
If you’re a mother and you feel like you have lost part of yourself to motherhood, it’s important to ask yourself the following question: What lit your soul on fire prior to motherhood? If the fire of your former self has burnt out, you are not alone. So many moms are shells of who they used to be. But it’s crucial that this narrative changes.
First, give yourself some grace. Then, give yourself the permission to take the time to refresh, energize, and enjoy yourself in motherhood. It does not make you selfish–it makes you human. When your cup is full, you will have more to pour out to others.
If you are looking for ways to refresh, energize, and enjoy yourself in motherhood again, please consider the following suggestions.
Savor the Outdoors
Go on a walk, tend a garden, sit on your porch with some lemonade. Getting fresh air is good for the soul. Try to get outdoors at least once a day if possible. Listen to all the sounds around you, take a deep breath, and soak it all in. Get ready to be refreshed simply by walking out your door.
Schedule Monthly Gatherings
As moms it is difficult making time in our schedules for ourselves. Most evenings, we are tending our homes or driving our children from one activity to the next. But it’s important to have time with other adults; to laugh and feel like us. That’s why scheduling a monthly night out (or night in) with friends is a game changer.
If we don’t put it on the schedule weeks out, it won’t happen. Therefore, find a date on the calendar that works for you and invite others. Try to commit to scheduling something monthly. Of course, not everyone will always be able to make it, and that’s okay. You’ll still be able to make it, and if for some reason nobody shows–take an evening for yourself! Either way it’s a win-win.
Take a Class
Whether an exercise class, art class, or cooking class, commit to signing up for something that sparks joy for you. No guilt allowed, momma. You deserve to invest in your well-being. Even if the class is via zoom, that still counts!
Find something that you can consistently fit into your schedule. Having trouble finding the time? Consider dropping something else from your busy schedule, even if it is something good. Sometimes saying “no” to good things allows us to say “yes” to better things. It’s important not to lose our own creativity while taking care of everyone else.
Travel + Explore New Places
Another way to refresh, energize, and enjoy yourself in motherhood is to write out a list of all the places near and far you hope to visit one day. After the list is compiled, if it’s in your budget, get ready to go! Commit to traveling to one of the faraway places within a year. For the nearby places, commit to exploring at least one every month if possible. Getting out in the world and discovering something new is rejuvenating for the soul. You’ll be sure to emerge from your travels with a full heart every time.
Give Yourself Grace
You’re doing the best you can! Motherhood is busy. And for some seasons, it is going to be extra difficult to do what’s required to feel energized, refreshed, and full of joy. During these seasons, the best thing a mom can give herself is grace.
We often get so wrapped up in our children’s lives, the first thing we drop from our calendar is ourselves. But in order to feel energized, refreshed, and full of joy as moms, we must stop feeling guilty and make our wants and needs a priority, too.
The world is at our fingertips. Whether this means taking a walk, signing up for that art class via zoom, seeing our girlfriends, discovering new places, or fill-in-the-blank . . . Mommas, let’s refuse to become shells of who we used to be. Let’s commit to changing the narrative, starting today.
