A few months ago I saw a picture while scrolling through Facebook. Perhaps you saw it. The picture showed a pregnant woman in what appeared to be a hospital embracing a young child who was sitting on her baby bump. Intrigued I clicked on the article to read what it was all about. The woman in the picture was indeed in the hospital, preparing to be induced. The child was her first born, and her photographer captured the moment of the mother saying goodbye to her child. It went on to explain how heartbreaking it is to say goodbye to that only child status. While it was a very touching moment, it made me stop and think.
Wait.
Does everyone feel like that? Does everyone feel so overwhelmingly sad? Was there something wrong with me that I didn’t feel like this?
When we welcomed our second daughter, Autumn, I don’t remember being sad that my first, Annabelle, wouldn’t be an only child. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that it would be a huge change, but I was overjoyed that Annabelle was getting a sibling.
As an only child I always knew that I wanted a big family, so sadness was not a major emotion I remember feeling. Was I curious how our lives would change? Of course. Was I worried how Annabelle would handle sharing her mom? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. But, did I feel an incredible sadness that Annabelle would no longer be an only child? Nope.
When we brought Autumn home from the hospital, it was a change, but Annabelle was a champ. She loved on her sister like no ones business. If Autumn cried, she was the first to say “Autumn crying. Pick her up!” She showed Autumn toys, and helped me whenever possible. As Autumn grows it is obvious Annabelle still loves “her Autumn” (well maybe not quite as much when she touch’s Annabelle’s toys). Plus, as much as Annabelle loves Autumn, Autumn simply adores her sister. The look on her face when she spies Annabelle is one of pure joy. I love watching their relationship grow and strengthen, and can’t wait for what the future holds (although with how much Autumn already steels her sister’s shoes, I’m a bit worried as well).
Seeing the love they share is why I think I was never sad that Annabelle wasn’t going to be an only child any longer. Why instead of sadness, I felt joy.
What about you? How did you feel when you added a second or third child to your family?
Thank you for sharing this post and sharing these wonderful pictures of your girls, the love between siblings is brightly captured here. I didn’t see this post that you referred to, but I also was not sad that my daughter would now longer be an only child.. I was more overwhelmed and guilty because I wasn’t sure how I was going to spend my time between two children. But turns out kids are pretty resilient and things we often worry about don’t even phase them.
Crystal, thanks for reading! My girls can be a trip sometimes. 😉 I totally feel the guilty. Even now (a year later) I sometimes feel guilty. But like you said, kids are resilient. 🙂
I only have one child but want a second and this is great perspective. I’ve never once thought about being sad, I agree that the relationship between siblings is exciting to watch. Thank you for sharing this. ?
Thanks so much Laura! I really just wanted to share that it’s ok not to be sad (just like it’s O.K. to be sad). 🙂 Thanks for reading!
I think i’ll feel the same as you when I have my second. I don’t typically get emotional over things like that.. mostly because I just look at the future rather than the past. My son just turned 4 and I didn’t get that sad feeling that my kid was getting older..I’m just more bout living in the present I guess. ?
Malissa, yes! I totally get you! I don’t get emotional over my daughters growing older either! Am I sometimes in awe how fast the time goes, yes. But I’m not really sad about it. 🙂
That photo! I’m expecting my second daughter in February, and while I do sometimes feel a bit sad, I am more excited about seeing my girls love each other. Great post, mama.
I know! My girls can be a trip sometime. Congratulations on expecting your second daughter! I really love watching their relationship blossom. Feeling sad is totally normal. There are always so many emotions involved! I hope that everything goes well!