My first foray into mommyhood was started with the best of intentions; by adopting a furry baby I named Lola. I was young and single and full of promises for this sweet little runt of the litter. I showed up at the no-kill shelter (shout out to those amazing folks!) and fell immediately in love. Lola was a very active yellow lab jumping as high as she could to get noticed. I brought her home that day. We went on walks together, swam in my parents’ pond together, even slept in the same bed so she could protect me at all times. She was a beautiful happy girl and my constant companion.
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ix years into our life together we officially became a trio when I married Lola’s other human. They loved each other right away. He played tug-o-war with her, go fetch and there was a miserable attempt at Frisbee that lasted a summer. There were campfires and trips up to the U.P. that my little family loved. By this time Lola had moved to sleeping at the foot of our bed and she would do her nightly rounds around the house to make sure no boogeyman would get us.
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hen Lola was almost nine, we welcomed our daughter home and Lola was curious and excited and amazingly gentle. She stayed near her new baby’s pack and play, crib and bath. She closely observed anyone who came to see this new addition to our family and she took to sleeping in front of both bedroom doors since they were next to each other. I’m sure that made it easier to watch over us all at once. As our baby has become a toddler who walks and talks and who loves anything furry, Lola patiently lays on the floor while my daughter pets her, and hugs her, and tries to ride her. She never whines, or leaves or even moves really except to occasionally lick her nose and make her giggle.
Over time, the attention given to our Lola has lessened as it has shifted to our daughter and still Lola watches over us, keeps us safe, wags her tail when we come home and nuzzles our arms to let us know she loves us. I pet her for a while when we watch TV at the end of the day before she falls asleep on the floor at my feet. I pet her for a minute in the morning before work. I tell her she is a good girl and throw her a treat.
The fact is that I have become a bad pet parent since becoming mom. I regret this. I am not proud of it.
Somewhere between marriage and motherhood, I had to prioritize my time and I regret that I didn’t keep Lola higher on the list. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. Is that enough? Is it even a fraction of what she deserves after her years of unconditional love, toddler patience and boogeyman protection? Nope. I suspect I am not alone in this trajectory of pet relationships.
So I vow to be better; to make our playtime more Lola focused. I vow to teach my daughter the unadulterated joy of a dog that she is on the cusp of with every slobbery kiss. I vow to pay it back to the wonderful companion that holds us so dear! A few extra belly rubs; a treat for no reason at all; a walk around the block when the kid is rambunctious. I will not let this be one more regret. Who is with me?
Kim – this is SO ME. I have a great dog, and feel awful that he is absolute last priority. He’s pretty low maintenance, and I’m pretty sure he should hate me by now, but like all dogs, he has only unconditional love for this human!
Amen! I think this is a struggle every mom goes through on a regular basis. Just think of the life you saved her from! Our puppies are our original babies. They’ll forever hold a special place in our hearts 🙂