Goodbye, Kindergarten

Goodbye Kindergarten-

This was a huge year for me as a mom. You see, you took my five-year-old son into your ranks last fall. In the blink of an eye my adorable, six-pound peanut turned into a precocious fifty-pound little man, waving to me from the school bus window as it drove away. I’ll never forget how my breath caught as I watched that bus pull out of my view. My son was so excited, and I was terrified! ‘Keep him safe,’ I thought, ‘please take care of my baby’.

Five-year-olds are so magically innocent. Riding on his bike or playing on the swing-set make my son’s face positively light up. He finds joy in the simplest things, like when he wore his new backpack and carried his new lunchbox around the house before the school-year even began. I have a vivid memory of him grinning from ear-to-ear: he was so incredibly excited to start his year with you, Kindergarten. And I thought: this, if I could just bottle this moment. This was a moment I wanted to remember forever, because in some ways it would never happen again. I knew that my son’s magical innocence was about to get the first few dings in its armor while spending the year with you, Kindergarten.

I’m not knocking you, Kindergarten. If anything, I recognize that you’re kind of a big deal. At school orientation you were touted as the “New First Grade”, and I just hoped my son was up for the challenges you’d present. ‘Armor dinging’ isn’t all bad: children need to grow in all the ways that you offer – academically, socially and emotionally. These are building blocks to the ultimate goals of independence and self-sufficiency. I wouldn’t be a good parent if I didn’t let my son spread his wings and learn to fly. But learning to fly is challenging, and inevitably involves tripping and falling. And that’s such a hard reality for parents: we know first-hand how hard life lessons can be, we understand that they are essential for our childrens’ growth, but sometimes it’s just so hard to watch our little ones muddle through the steps.

I will say this, Kindergarten: I wasn’t quite prepared for the school-bus-bully incident. That was a life lesson that I don’t think my son needed to muddle through quite so soon. He wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t either. Neither of us were prepared for a fourth grader to call my son “ugly” or to stomp on his beloved artwork. I wasn’t prepared to witness my little man crying big tears as he ran off of the school bus at the end of the day, shrinking into the welcoming fold of my awaiting arms. Bullying wasn’t a life lesson that either of us should have had to encounter yet. But people can be mean and unkind. It hurts. Unfortunately, it’s something that we, as humans, have to encounter and negotiate. Even as Kindergartners.

There were some great moments throughout the year, too, Kindergarten. Like when my little man was chosen to read out loud at the school assembly, when he made numerous social connections on and off the playground, or when he taught me what a Line of Symmetry was on his Octonauts Octopad toy (for the record, I had absolutely no idea what my mini mathematician was talking about!). The best moment came when my little guy achieved his ultimate school-year goal of Leader of the Week. His teacher knew it was important to him, and helped my son map out a plan for success. He worked so hard throughout the year, and was so incredibly proud of himself when he was chosen. It was a proud mom moment as well….I may have even shed a few, happy tears. What an awesome life lesson for my little guy, on so many levels. He learned to work hard, play fair, and never stop trying!

As we witness our children pass through the cycles of life, and learn its many lessons, we encounter reminders of what it was like to be a kid: the innocence, the excitement, the curiosity, the occasional heartbreak. It’s wonderful and terrifying all at once to watch our children negotiate the world and grow as individuals.  Kindergarten, I’m still so new to all of this! You were one of the first in a long line of rites of passage that my son and I will face together. Thank you for being there in my stead, for watching over my baby, for keeping him safe, secure, engaged and curious throughout the school year. Thank you for helping my little man begin to shape the student, classmate, friend and overall person that he is becoming.

Goodbye, Kindergarten.

While I’m not sure if my breath (or my heart!) will ever stop catching when that school bus pulls away from the curb with my baby on-board, I do have a much better understanding of where my son is headed, the challenges he will face, the life lessons he will continue to learn, and how I can best support him, wholeheartedly, from the not-too-distant sidelines!