Yup. You read that right – becoming a mom has made me a total B!
I didn’t used to be this way; I used to be a sweet, lovely young lady. The word “no” wasn’t even in my vocabulary, but something changed as every year of motherhood passed. At first, I blamed it on the sleepless nights, the lack of personal space, and the nonexistent alone time. Then I realized that what I thought was a new, negative personality trait was actually my favorite thing about my reinvented mom self!
Becoming a Mom Taught Me Time is Precious
Fact: there are 24 hours in a day. Also fact: I have 27 hours worth of things to do.
It’s some kind of mom magic that happens when you “pop one out.” “Time is precious” seems to be a well-known phrase which echoes out of everyone’s mouths, over and over and over. It’s meant to help us appreciate every moment but it just feels like an omen that stresses moms out!
How did I overcome the “so little time, so much to do” drama? I became a total B!
Being a mom taught me to not let anyone waste my time, even if that means being a little salty about it. When that doorbell rings and it’s a door-to-door window salesman, but you’ve got something cooking on the stove, and a two-year-old begging to watch Frozen – take his card, thank him, and close the door. I guarantee you’ll feel bad about it, but unfortunately, you don’t have those precious seconds to waste. Stop feeling guilty about not giving him those extra five minutes, tune into your mommy B-mode!
There are a lot of situations we can’t control – like how long you might have to wait for your oil change or when there’s a huge storm and your power goes out right in the middle of a Zoom meeting. So, we need to take the reigns in situation where we have some say. If you don’t, the precious time you do have is going to get bulldozed by someone who may not deserve it.
Becoming a Mom Obliterated My Fear of the Truth
Give it to me straight, and do it quickly! I don’t have time to waste (see above!) dancing around the issues. Before I became a mother, I found myself often afraid of offending people by being honest. I didn’t want anyone to think I was rude and, in turn, I didn’t ask for them to be honest with me either.
With our kids, we take a very direct approach – tell me what’s wrong so we can fix it together. Somewhere along the way into adulthood, this strategy gets lost. We spend far too much time worrying about how we might be perceived if we’re too aggressive in our demands. Our generation of moms was raised to be overly-polite and perfectly pleasant; learn not to care. Learn to speak your truth.
Instead of worrying about making the woman at the rental car place feel inferior, think about the hours of discomfort you’re going to face with a car that doesn’t adequately fit your car seat. While you’re concerned about offending your mother-in-law by telling her your kid can’t have any more cookies, you’re also setting yourself up for an entire evening of sugar-high tantrums. The only person we are hurting by not speaking your truth is ourselves – sounds like it’s time to become a total B!
Becoming a Mom Reminded Me I Set the Example
How do I expect my children to stand-up for themselves, or others, if they never see me do it for myself? In the past, I may have stood on the sidelines when it came to what I thought deserved. Now, as a mom, it’s about what my children deserve too.
I am unafraid to push back to ask for what my family needs. This might be asking for the salary you really need or deserve, it may be asking for family support, or a mental-emotional break from the kids. I want to ensure my children grow up seeing that they can place value in themselves, their beliefs, needs and opinions. Teaching them this important skill of asking for what they deserve, in turn, allows them to appreciate and see the value in others. We need to turn the trait of being outspoken into a positive behavior, not a negative one.
Being a Mom Has Humbled Me
Motherhood is like having a superpower. It’s amazing what we can do even when we feel like we can’t do any more. There are times when I go to engage “B-Mode” and then I stop. Momma Bear goes overboard sometimes. As much as we want to teach our children how to be strong and courageous, they also teach us everyday how to not sweat the small stuff. I’ve learned how to see the good in a situation, how to be better at apologizing, how to go with the flow when I want to turn into Anger from Inside Out.
Becoming a mom made me a total B, but it also taught me how to control my reactions. Children better equip you to manage your temper, how to speak clearly and directly. With little ones around, tough conversations have to happen discreetly, and quickly. All these exercises taught me how to be a more refined, mature version of my fly-off-the-handle self.
Being a Mom Has Taught Me I Can Be Total B
…without being one.
I think what I’m trying to say is the wonderful phase of motherhood has taught me how strong I really am. How brave I didn’t know could be. How little some things matter and how monumentally important other things are. My kids have taught me I will do anything for them, even if sometimes that means I’ve got to be a little B!