DISCLAIMER: I love my husband and my kids more than anyone knows ☺
Some people would still consider me a newlywed. My husband and I will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary this summer – a month before our daughter turns 3, and 2 months after our son turns 1. Yup – I got married and pregnant almost overnight. I entered into a marriage learning to be wife and also learning to be a mom all at the same time. Practically overnight, my old “life” disappeared before my eyes.
THE SINGLE LIFE
The life before boyfriends/fiancé’s/husbands. The life before not just one baby but TWO babies in 2 years. The more I think about it, I was pregnant off and on for the past 4 years. Gone are the days when I was able to not explain my whereabouts to ANYONE. I was able to go to work and decide at 4:45pm if I was going to attend the last minute happy hour soiree with some coworkers. And of course that Happy Hour would turn into a 6 hour bar hop spree through town and I would stumble home way past my bedtime on a “school night”. Gone are the hangover headaches at work, the weekend trips, and pure harmless fun.
I USED TO HAVE HOBBIES
I used to have hobbies! I could spend all weekend in my pajamas scrapbooking if I wanted to. I could read a whole book – UNITERRUPTED! If I wanted to lay on the couch and watch sappy Lifetime Movies – well so be it. I had total freedom. I also thought I had no time to do anything. If I could only turn back the clock now – I had more time than I knew what to do with. In the summer, I would spend the WHOLE DAY laying by the pool in the sun (I also used to have a decent midsection and was able to wear a bikini proudly). Add a husband and two kids – goodbye time.
I WANT TIME
I was asked over the Holiday’s what I wanted for Christmas. I said TIME. Time to do things for ME. Time to get pampered, get a pedicure, go get a coffee and read a magazine, time to just window shop. Just wanted TIME. Even if it was one hour at a café or library with my laptop organizing the hundreds of pictures (that will eventually be turned into scrapbooks – again no time to do that). The best gift someone could ever give me is a set of “I OWE YOU TIME”. One hour of FREE TIME to do whatever you want. I can buy myself clothes and shoes and “stuff”. A Starbucks gift card plus one free hour of babysitting = BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO ANY YOUNG MOM/WIFE. (FYI: Mother’s Day Gifts….)
MY NEW LIFE
Some people are going to read this and say “stop whining!” Lots of people have kids and they still travel and have hobbies and go out after work. That’s great for them. I’m happy some people still get to do that. I’m sure if it really meant that much to me – I would be able to do some of the things I did in my past “single” life. But my priorities are different. And it is for the best. I am married to the best guy who is also the best dad to our kids. Instead of bar hopping, I’m home in my pajamas snuggling on the couch with him and the kids (when they are awake). Instead of scrapbooking all weekend and looking at pics from my past – I’m at the Zoo or the park or some event MAKING memories with my FAMILY. Instead of me saying “I” want to do this, “I” want to do that – it’s “WE”. My life, as a wife and a mother, is no longer about me. It’s about US – my family, my husband and my kids. I don’t go to work so I can earn a paycheck to go blow it at Somerset on $250 boots. I earn a paycheck to provide for my family: food, clothes, school, toys, and to be able to provide them with guidance and experiences as they grow older.
Sure, I still want to be able to go to Happy Hour after work and party my night away. But I also don’t want to spend 10 hours at work – away from kids – then go out again and not see them until after they are sleeping. I miss my kids when I’m at work – it’s hard enough being a full time working mom.
One day, I will look back at this post and think to myself “the greatest gift in life are my babies”. And I can just smile knowing that it was all worth it in the end.
