My name is Ashley Jolley (cue all of the Christmas jokes), and I am a 28 year old mother, wife, and real estate agent. I have one son, Jude, who is 14 months old and I am still trying to figure out who takes care of who. I take care of him physically, of course, but I guess we both take care of each other emotionally.
My husband and I met in college when we were camp counselors at a summer camp in Pennsylvania. He is British with a sexy accent and my pick up line was asking him to repeat ‘Charlie bit my finger’ like the hilarious youtube video from years back (I’m pretty awkward). Our relationship mimicked that of the 13 year old kids we were responsible for. Love notes, cheesy pick-up lines and discreetly holding hands in front of our pre-teen campers. It’s actually quite comical looking back at it, but it will be a great story to tell our son when he asks why he isn’t allowed to attend summer camp.
Dan and I decided to navigate a long distance relationship, figuring that we didn’t have much to lose other than some money on airfare (so. many. free. air miles). We spent most of our college days coordinating Skype dates and scraping up money to pay for airfare. Dan eventually moved to Canada to get closer to Detroit (he actually got banned from the USA because they thought he was attempting to live here, totally hilarious story now but definitely was NOT at the time). We then moved to Manchester UK together where I got my master’s degree in Forensic Psychology and eventually moved back to the States (legally this time) and got married in September 2013.
A few short months after we got married, we were renovating our first fixer upper (before Chip & Joanna Gaines made it cool) and dealing with a very unexpected stroke my dad suffered. I was learning how to navigate being a wife, work my first full-time job out of college and be a caregiver to my father before he eventually passed away. To say the first year of our marriage was chaotic is an understatement. Neither of us were ready to be parents and having kids was no where in the ‘three year plan’. Amidst the chaos, we had a small glimpse of what life would look like as parents when I unexpectedly got pregnant. Unfortunately we lost our first baby a few weeks later, and subsequently two more after that, but are firm believers that each ounce of grief has been a monumental moment in our lives that has shifted our mindset for the better.
Fast forward several years later, Dan and I were in our groove of marriage and careers. I had worked in Children’s Protective Services for 2.5 years and started working as a Juvenile Probation Officer in Macomb County. I was coaching the varsity girls lacrosse team at my alma mater high school in Troy (I was a lacrosse player throughout high school and college), and Dan’s focus on his career was really paying off.
We were still renovating our cute little lake house on Lake St Clair and were tackling home remodeling projects practically every weekend. We had one room left to renovate, which we had already decided would be a nursery one day. We felt ready to hopefully grow our family but due to our previous losses, the anxiety was heavy and hard. We were fortunate to have a fairly easy time getting (and staying) pregnant and welcomed our sweet Jude. I have no doubt that the loss of my father and our babies prepared me for motherhood in ways that I can’t describe. It was in those first moments of motherhood where it had hit me that every loss I suffered before was preparing me for this moment.
While on maternity leave, we decided to say goodbye to our first home and buy a 1920’s farmhouse in Grosse Pointe Farms. Maybe it was parenthood or the 12 weeks of sheer exhaustion, but after returning back to work I quickly realized what was valuable to me and how I wanted to spend my days. Being a mother was where I felt most like me and I was only able to enjoy it for two hours a day. Working full-time in a job that was not satisfying me personally was eating through my core quicker than I imagined. Making the decision to leave a salary with great benefits was not easy. It was completely out of my comfort zone, especially when I had worked so hard in school and had the student loans to prove it. I knew I wanted to provide financially for my family but also have the ability to be a present mom. So, enter real estate.
Although it seems random, it was totally meant to be. My dad was an agent my entire life. I grew up around the business and became obsessed with homes when we bought, renovated and sold ours. I knew this career switch was perfect for me and I could finish what my dad started. It has allowed me to truly love working and be a present mom. Helping people find a place that holds so many memories is not a task I take lightly. I absolutely love what I do and take pride in being a small part of the process.
When I’m not working or being a mom, I am scouring Pinterest planning my next home project. I am obsessed with making our house a home. I am a homebody, an introvert and a deep thinker. A sucker for a good documentary on Netflix and a cold beer. I prefer real and meaningful conversation over small talk. I love connecting with other moms because let’s be honest, there’s something about having your hoo-ha out for all to see that allows our walls to be down and vulnerability to set in. I’m a firm believer that life happens outside of comfort zones and real connections start from a place of honest conversation.
I am sore you and am So excited to read your contributions ash!!
Thank you Lindsay 🙂 I am excited for you to read them!