That’s right! It took me about 28 months to be OK with leaving my two-year-old son overnight (even with his dad), but the mom with FOMO finally did it!
Here are five tips that helped me prepare to leave him:
Have a discussion on expectations:
His dad and I had a discussion on expectations. It’s not like I didn’t trust my partner; in fact, that’s actually the complete opposite. I definitely had trust in him to even consider going hundreds of miles away overnight without my son. I just know that we have slightly varying opinions about details concerning our son. He’s a bit more relaxed on things than I am and vice versa about other things. However, nothing major that would have been a deal-breaker. My main concern was our son remaining on his “schedule.”
Have a backup:
My son has definitely been with his dad alone before, plenty of times actually. This time was different though. He hadn’t been with his dad overnight alone, let alone for multiple days at a time. The backup wasn’t just for dad but for my son. I wanted his dad to be able to have a break, and for my son to have a break (if needed). I enlisted the help of our village, including my mom, brother, and friends. After all, villages are there to support you.
Knock out some of the more “difficult” tasks:
How often does your partner go grocery shopping with your child(ren)? I can count the number of times mine has on one hand. I know how challenging it can be for me to go to the grocery store with our son, so I went grocery shopping before I departed. The fridge was packed, and the necessary toiletries were all in stock. I even laid out a few outfits and made sure our son’s bag was packed just in case they had planned on leaving. I’m not saying that my partner wasn’t capable of completing the tasks, but a little bit of help goes a long way.
Don’t check in every five minutes:
OK…maybe every 10! (I’m totally kidding!). The first time I went away, I feel like I checked in like five times the first day. Personally, it didn’t feel like enough times, but to my partner, I might as well have checked in every five minutes. It was hard for me to enjoy myself because I was literally thinking of what my son might be doing and calling every time he crossed my mind. Looking back, I can see how that could be annoying for my partner. However, since my first trip, I found myself checking in less and less daily but still checking in about twice daily. My son wasn’t going to forget me after being going two or even five days; I did, after all, carry him for 39 weeks.
Enjoy yourself:
In my previous FOMO post, I mentioned how my FOMO made me anxious. I was definitely in need of some “me” time. Of course I had to get past the initial feeling of guilt that I felt, but in the end, me leaving my child overnight was a great decision for my family and me. I got “me” time, was able to travel through an airport without a toddler, and relieve some stress with a change of scenery. At the same time, my son was able to get some quality time with his dad, and I was able to develop a deeper trust with my partner. Since my first trip, I’ve gone away two additional times…one even being out of the country!
I’m not saying I’m running away every chance I get, but it’s definitely nice to know that I have the option to if I want.
