Social media has somehow been able to successfully turn motherhood into a nightmare. Yes, I said it. A day doesn’t go by when I’m scrolling Facebook or Instagram, and I see a meme about how much wine moms need to be a good mom or to put up with their children they describe as “terrorists.” Maybe there is a video with a mom who locked herself in the pantry, and she is telling the world she needs to get away from her four little monsters, and you can even see how they want to be with her so badly that they are sticking their fingers under the door.
I’m sorry but not so sorry to tell you that motherhood is not that bad! I struggled with infertility and spent two years trying IVF to conceive my first child. In those two years, I suffered through my husband’s cancer diagnoses, failed IVF cycles, and had two miscarriages. So, you better believe I will not be cheering on the motherhood haters!
Each time I see a negative meme, I think about the women at home reading them, crying because all they want is to have children who will one day annoy them, who will one day say “mommy” 10,000 times in a span of two minutes, and who will pound on the bathroom door, just to tell them they are hungry even though they just ate breakfast. Since when did we become a society that needs to share our negative experiences to feel better about ourselves?
I will be the first person to tell you that I am not a fan of the new sensitivity movement going on in America. It seems like everyone is offended by something. You could post a picture of your toddler daughter eating an ice cream sundae, and someone will tell you are objectifying women. Trust me, I get it. However, I don’t feel this fits into the same category. These groups of women I am discussing are not offended by your memes or videos; they are hurt, sad, and feel angry because you are complaining about something they desperately want more than anything in this entire world.
Is motherhood easy? No. Is motherhood always roses and sunshine? No. Have I wanted to hide from my kids? I sure have. In fact, I just finished telling my son I changed my name from mommy, but I wasn’t telling going to tell him what my new name was. Yes, we all have those moments, trust me. But those things don’t define motherhood to me and don’t occur every single day. Most days my kids bring more joy to me than anything else could ever bring.
Instead of constantly being negative about motherhood experiences, we should all join together to share our stories and offer advice and guidance. Mothers are the most powerful force on this planet! Let’s celebrate motherhood and everything it offers. If you are struggling or feel alone, there are different groups you can join that focus on being a mommy and everything that comes with it. That’s why I joined Detroit Mom’s Blog! We will have a post for every single issue moms face on a day-to-day basis.
Motherhood is not something you need to muddle your way through or need to drink your way through. Surround yourself with people who help you be the best mommy you can possibly be! Maybe you want to join a twin mom group or Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS), whichever you feel is the best fit for you. Find that group and hang on tight! They will be your friends forever and will help you feel empowered as a mom! This is what we should all be doing. From this day forward, I vow to motivate moms and explain motherhood positively. How about you?
Dear friend, I love reading your words! Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Great read, Allison! I strongly agree on the issue of drinking wine to survive motherhood- it all gets really old really fast. Thanks for calling us out and reminding us that this experience is what we agreed to when we decided to become parents…the Good & bad. Xo
found this article as a soon to be mom but TERRIFIED bc everything I see and read online is SOOOO negative. It almost sounds like I’ve committed to suicide by wanting kids, from what other moms say. And, I just don’t fully want to believe it’s that bad. So, thank you for this post. I am committed to not joining the negative Nancy moms out there that are freaking young girls out with their negativity, even during the hard days, I WON’T be that mom.