Healing is all about undoing all the hurt, pain, and survival techniques we have been conditioned to believe about ourselves. If you think back to your childhood, you might recognize some patterns that your parents or environment taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you. These beliefs become our internal dialogue that we live by: the way we treat others, the way we react when we feel vulnerable, or the way we think about ourselves.
Undoing these false beliefs can be hard work. I wanted to share four things I learned on my own healing journey that might help you as you navigate through this major life change.
1. You might lose relationships along the way.
Not everyone will come along on your new journey. One of the most challenging aspects of healing is realizing that some relationships may not survive the process. As you grow and change, you might find that certain people in your life are no longer supportive of your new path. This can be heartbreaking, but it is essential to remember that your well-being comes first.
Healing often involves setting boundaries and prioritizing your needs, which can sometimes clash with the expectations of others. Some people might resist your changes because they are accustomed to the old dynamics of your relationship. This resistance can manifest in various ways, such as criticism, withdrawal, or even hostility. It’s crucial to recognize that these reactions are not a reflection of your worth–but rather, a sign of their discomfort with change.
During my own healing journey, I had to let go of a few relationships that no longer served me. It was painful, but it opened up space for new, healthier connections with people who supported my growth and understood my journey. Remember, it’s okay to outgrow people. Your healing is worth it.
2. Healing is not a destination, it’s a journey.
Healing is a continuous process, not a final destination. Don’t expect to reach an ending or destination. There is no magical point where you are “completely healed.” Instead, healing is about making consistent efforts to nurture your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that once you’ve dealt with certain issues, you’re done. However, life has a way of presenting new challenges that can trigger old wounds or create new ones. The key is to approach these challenges with the tools and insights you’ve gained along your healing journey.
During my own healing journey, I’ve learned to embrace the journey with patience and self-compassion. There will be setbacks and tough days, but each step you take, no matter how small, contributes to your overall growth and resilience. Celebrate your progress, no matter how incremental it may seem.
3. Healing can be painful.
Some days will be difficult–or many, I should say. Undoing things from your childhood that you have carried for so long can lead to more pain. As you open up to this pain, it will feel uncomfortable.
Healing often involves confronting uncomfortable truths and revisiting painful memories. This process can stir up a lot of emotions, such as sadness, anger, or fear. It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than suppressing them. Acknowledging and processing your feelings is a crucial part of healing.
During my own healing journey, journaling became a vital tool for processing my emotions. Writing down my thoughts and feelings helped me gain clarity and release pent-up emotions. Additionally, seeking support from a therapist or joining a support group can provide a safe space to explore and work through these feelings.
Remember, it’s okay to feel pain. It’s a sign that you are addressing the deep-seated issues that need healing. Be gentle with yourself during these times and remind yourself that the discomfort is temporary and part of the process.
4. Resting is essential and part of the journey.
Rest is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity. In our fast-paced world, we often overlook the importance of rest and self-care. However, healing requires energy, and to sustain this energy, you need adequate rest.
Resting allows your body and mind to recover and rejuvenate. It’s during these moments of rest that your subconscious mind processes and integrates the work you’ve done. This can include taking breaks, getting enough sleep, engaging in relaxing activities, and giving yourself permission to do nothing.
During my own healing journey, incorporating mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga helped me find a sense of calm and balance. These practices not only provided physical rest but also mental and emotional relief as well. They allowed me to connect with myself on a deeper level and recharge my energy.
Resting is not a sign of weakness or laziness. It’s a crucial component of the healing journey. Listen to your body and honor its need for rest. By doing so, you are creating a sustainable path for long-term healing and well-being.
My Final Thoughts on Healing
Healing is a profound and personal journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and perseverance. It’s about undoing the false beliefs and survival mechanisms that no longer serve you and embracing a healthier, more authentic way of being. As you heal, you are not only transforming yourself but also becoming a healthier mom, capable of nurturing your children with love and understanding.
This work doesn’t just impact you; it paves the way for future generations, breaking cycles of trauma and fostering a legacy of emotional well-being for your kids. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many have walked this path before you, and many will follow. By sharing our experiences and supporting one another, we can create a community of healing and growth.
Take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself, and trust the process. Healing is not a destination; it’s a journey, and every step you take is a step towards a better, more fulfilling life.
