Sometimes you have to wonder if most people were ever taught how to hide their expressions. In fact, I know people were taught this or most people would have looks of disgust or annoyance during most days (especially those in the service industry). Instead, people learn to fake a smile and do what it takes to make the other person happy and comfortable.
So, why is it that people think it is okay to just say whatever comes to mind when speaking with a pregnant woman?
This is my second pregnancy. I only gained 30 total pounds with my first pregnancy and lost all the weight, and then some, while breastfeeding that first baby. No one really prepares you for the “stop breastfeeding 15 pounds” that you gain back after. So, when I got pregnant with my now second baby, I wasn’t by any means in the best shape of my life; but I also was not obese, or anywhere near it. In fact, to this day (at 8 months pregnant) I have actually only gained just under 10 pounds. Yes, only 10 POUNDS! So, I’m not sure if it is because I am all baby, or maybe it is because I am carrying a future sumo wrestler!
Either way, I’m not sure why anyone thinks it is OK to say the following three things in response to my due date two months away:
“Wow! You still have a ways to go!”
“Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?!”
“You must have a big guy in there. Are you measuring on time?”
Seriously??!! I know most people don’t think that they are being offensive by these comments, and that pregnancy is such a beautiful and wonderful time spent growing another life. But to this pregnant woman, it says just one thing: “you look WAY bigger than you should”. No woman ever wants to feel too big!
My husband continues to be the most supportive man in the world. He insists I look amazing and that he is still as attracted to me as he has ever been. But, all the positive reinforcement in the world from him probably won’t help the way I feel about myself. I know that is something I need to get over and block out, but when you can start keeping a daily tally of the amount of times someone says one of the comments above… it starts to get to you!
I’m actually mad at myself for letting others’ comments bother me, mad because I should be enjoying this time, growing my child. It truly is such an amazing thing that we as women can do. It even is difficult to wrap my head around at times when I look at my now almost two-year-old daughter and think about her actually existing because my body was able to provide a safe environment for her to come into this world. This could possibly be the last time I’m pregnant, so why is it OK that I’m letting other people influence how I feel about it?
I have three more months of comments that will inevitably make their way to my ears. I’m trying my best to build a tough exterior in these coming months, to smile and maybe even come up with creative comebacks to really throw people off when they are so bold, such as:
“Yeah, I figure maybe by February I’ll have a two-year-old in there.”
“Oh my gosh, did you see my ultrasound??? Do you think my doctor lied about just one being in there?!”
“If you’re measuring larger, do you get to deliver earlier? In that case, I’ll ask my doctor if I can be induced next month!”
What is most important to me is learning not only to enjoy these final months of this pregnancy, but also to show my very impressionable daughter, that what other people think never matters. Ever. If I can move on and still be happy with myself, my family, and my life, I am one very lucky person.
Did you experience comments about your appearance while pregnant? Share your experiences with me!
