It happened.
I’m done nursing.
And I feel like rejoicing and crying all at the same time.
I don’t get it! Before I even gave birth to Lucy, I had a goal for myself: I was going to nurse for 6 months. That goal really came out of nowhere; I guess it was a combination of talking to my friends, reading blogs, and just trying to understand how long I wanted to be attached at the hip (or attached at the BOOB, technically!) to my new baby. The 6 months came and went, and as I approached month 7, I got lazy. I started skipping my “pumping sessions” here and there. Lucy got her first two teeth. Ouch. I stopped nursing and moved only to pumping. And then I took a few mini vacations and got laryngitis … Which meant I started making excuses to NOT pump.
Before I knew it, I had no milk in a matter of a days … and my boobs were FLAT. Like, whoa. Pancakes.
Anyway, I hate the feeling that I STILL have two weeks later: I feel like screaming “FREEEEDOM!” from the top of my lungs, but I also feel like a complete failure. My friend Jordin breastfed her baby until he was 18 months old. Lindsey is going strong, and her little girl is nearing her first birthday. Julie’s baby girl is only 2 months old, but she’s adamant that she is not doing any formula until Baby Ava is at least a year old.
And then there’s me. The lifelong overachiever, high-school valedictorian, “Miss Perfect”, definition of Type A … and breastfeeding Q-U-I-T-T-E-R.
Do any other moms feel this way? MY mom (who did not breastfeed me, nor either of my 2 sisters for the record) told me I should be proud. I know I should. I gave Lucy the BEST nutrition possible for 7 months. I was not afraid to whip out my boob in the Nordstrom Ladies Lounge. I proudly exclaimed, “I need to go pump!” every 3 hours at work. And I got a great feeling of satisfaction when I looked at all of the milk I had stored in my freezer.
Would love for you to share your thoughts!
P.S. I loved taking “pumping selfies.” Can you tell? I pumped in so many different places … including a JANITOR’S CLOSET at a nightclub during an appearance for my job!
No worries!! Every child is different. I nursed my son ( now 22 years of age) for a little over a year where as my daughter (now aged 18) took herself off at 10 months. I was a stay at home mum, you however lead a very busy lifestyle (and FYI..it is not like Lucy will “remember” so cut yourself some slack, and keep in mind you are still going through waves of hormone hell).
Good for you Shannon!! Never think of yourself as a quitter, I was so frustrated with breastfeeding! I had a lot of complications during and after the birth of 6 month old daughter. My milk wasn’t coming in because of the magnesium I was on due to pre-ecclampsia, Lacey was losing weight. I tried pumping and it hurt like hell. I was in the hospital for nine days total. I felt horrible and I wanted what was best for my baby girl. Eventually we just supplemented with formula, then the pumping stopped, it was too hard to pump and feed her on maternity leave. My milk slowly dried up. I was sad, in fact I still am, but I did what was best for my girl. That is all we can do as mommy’s!!
you did great! Just be proud and continue to be a good momma and all will be well.
I completely understand the mommy guilt of quitting nursing 🙁 my daughter is almost 3 months old and the only goal I had for myself was to nurse her for a year. I didn’t care about work or anything else as long as I nursed her for one whole year. Well she was born the beginning of September and nursing was going perfect. Long story short, she had an extended stay in the NICU downtown. I pumped for her the entire time she was there and when she was finally able to come home 8 days later we failed at nursing. I kept trying and continued to pump for her. Being home with my other 2 children and trying to bottle feed and maintain a pumping schedule started to make me crazy. I decided it was best for everyone if I gave up and formula fed. I was devastated. It broke my heart. I nursed my oldest for 6 months and my middle son for only 6 weeks due to a milk allergy and poor latch. As mothers and as women we are constantly trying to be perfect and do everything we think we are supposed to do.
You did an amazing job with Lucy. It takes the highest commitment to make it as long as you did. You should feel extremely proud!! It is not an easy thing to do, but you did it! Congrats!!
Shannon,
Ive been listening to you since I can remember every morning. You are amazing! I tried to breastfeed my son, but I gave up it was so stressful, he wouldn’t latch my supply took days to come in, I gave up. Hes now 7 months old and I wish I wouldnt of gave up! You are an insperation.
I breastfed my first for about 48 hours. Then “quit”. I didn’t even attempt with my second. There are so many ways that Moms feel guilty, don’t let breastfeeding or formula feeding be one of them. The latest research says there is little difference between formula and breastfed babes. http://time.com/9917/sibling-study-shows-little-difference-between-breast-and-bottle-feeding/
Great job! Any amount of time you spend on this gets props from me! It’s hard! My son was born at 28 weeks and needed breast milk for sure if I could give it to him. I began pumping the day he was born and it turned into – he was never a good breast feeder once he finally had the chance, which then turned into me soley pumping for 5 1/2 straight months and I never was able to get more than 2.5 oz TOTAL-EVER. I get it. You did great!
Cheers to you! I pumped my first child till 6 months. With my daughter I promised I will nurse/pump till she is one because she was my last baby. Well nursing lasted all of 2 months but I pumped every 3 hours (slightly over did it) and I saved boob milk when I could. I swore to everyone that I will not put my daughter on formula (just saving some money) well vacations came, girls nights happened, and 3 hours of pumping went into 6 hours till my boobs sadly went to pancakes (really miss them) so my 8 month little Juliana is now on formula and loving it! I cried once I ran out of frozen milk, I cried when I stopped even though I wanted to stop. Maybe because she was my last baby, but I think I cried because well I miss my big boobs!
You’re not a quitter! Good for you!!!! You surpassed your goal while having a full time job that requires you to work crazy hours! I was formula fed and I’m slowly stopping nursing (done pumping!) I feel that society is really pushing for the year mark but at the end of the day there’s formula for a reason! I grab a bottle anytime my baby bites me and now she’s starting to prefer it 🙂 I can’t wait to have freedom like you!
I totally understand what you are feeling! My baby was not a great nurser so from 6 weeks to 8 months, I exclusively pumped and I hated every second of it. By 8 months I was over it and had a decent stash of milk, or so I thought. By ten months, it was gone and we had to switch to formula. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong, in my opinion, with formula. But I still felt like a failure, while at the same time being so incredibly happy that I was done pumping. I actually had started to resent pumping as I watched my family play with the baby while I was tethered to the evil torture device ( a bit of an exaggeration). You sound like a wonderful mother and yes Shannon, be proud of all the milk you were able to produce!!