Newsflash: Having babies takes a toll on your body. My youngest is over two years old, and I have post-partum issues that continue to plague me. My belly button is a disaster. I have a seemingly significant belly pooch despite being below my pre-baby weight. The worst of all is that I have incontinence frequently enough that it has affected my ability to participate in activities I enjoy.
From my perspective, these issues are mostly cosmetic and probably common, so it has seemed silly to see a doctor about them. But, recently my belly button has started to look discolored and tender, so I figured, it’s time to make an appointment.
You might be asking, what took you so long? Like many women, I put myself low on the priority list. I mean, what is the doctor going to say, “You need a belly button transplant?” My symptoms are embarrassing, and I was worried the doctor would think I am an idiot or shallow. Then I thought, if “Sex Sent Me to the ER” is any indication, my doctor has seen much stranger issues than anything I am about to throw at her.
Despite my embarrassment, I had a successful discussion with my doctor and learned about treatment options that can help. She didn’t just say “do some kegels.” She diagnosed me with an umbilical hernia and recommended physical therapy to help with the incontinence issues. As it turns out, the belly pooch is just cosmetic– I guess I need to do more planks. Regardless, I am glad I asked and took time to prepare for my appointment, so I didn’t leave disappointed.
I did some research first. Yes, googling your symptoms can quickly spiral, but I wanted to be able to articulate why I was concerned. It helped to know I am not alone and that I am dealing with actual medical issues. There are better websites than others to do this kind of research. You know what I am talking about. The MayoClinic website is going to be more reliable than perusing the comments section on your social media feeds. Whatever you do, do not perform a Google image search; I have seen things I cannot unsee.
I wrote down my symptoms and questions. As I said, I was embarrassed to talk about these issues with my doctor. Writing it down ensured that I didn’t miss anything in the exam room. It also made it easier to get through the conversation…probably because I was too busy reading from my phone to make eye contact.
I did the follow-up right away and didn’t put “make follow up appointments” back at the bottom of the to-do list. My doctor provided referrals, and I made my consultation appointments when I got home. They are on the calendar, so now I am accountable to the schedule and have no excuses. I will be starting by pelvic floor physical therapy and have my hernia repaired as soon as possible.
I had a successful appointment, but if you don’t, continue to advocate for yourself. Except for your mom, no one will advocate for you the way you will. If you go to the doctor and you don’t think he or she took you seriously, get a second opinion. Helping women identify and resolve these issues should be as much a part of standard post-partum care as taking home the extra mesh undies. You can also advocate for better education and post-partum care standards through your legislators.
A lot of the conversation on post-partum care focuses on breastfeeding and maternal mental health. There are many other complications from pregnancy, labor, and delivery that deserve attention. So here I am on the internet telling you I have peed my pants to raise awareness that there is something you can do.
