This isn’t going to be one of those sugary-sweet posts about happiness. I’m not going to tell you that you’re doing it all wrong. I won’t say that you need to ignore life and think good thoughts. (This post is about being positive, not delusional).
Instead, I’m going to share practical ways to regain your center when life hands you a curveball.
I know it might sound impossible now, but stick with me.
My Journey with Positive Thinking
First, allow me to share my life with you.
Being a mom is hard work. Add on a child with autism, and your job gets more interesting.
I used to always be on edge, and everything felt like such a chore. Living that way was so exhausting, and I had to find a way out. I started coming across books and programs that helped me create mini-shifts in my life. I found that I was beginning to have more great days than bad. And, even if a day started crazy, I was able to regroup and make it work.
What I learned was that there are four major ways that will allow someone to turn any day around. They don’t make life perfect, but they help you to navigate through the tough spots with ease and grace. You don’t have to do them at the same time; pick one or pick them all. In fact, I would recommend you start with one and add on as you go. Trying to do all the steps at the same time will stress you out and leave you right where you started.
*Disclaimer: Show yourself grace during this process. Don’t expect for everything to change overnight. That will stress you out more.*
Four Ways To Turn Your Day Around
- Stop, drop, and breathe. Stop what you’re doing, have a seat, and take three deep belly breaths. Taking yourself away from the situation that’s stressing you out allows you to come back with a fresh point of view. I used to lock myself in the bathroom, put my headphones in, and breathe. When I come out of hiding, I am equipped to deal with whatever is going on around me.
- Reconnect with your feelings. Ever since reading Danielle LaPorte’s “The Desire Map,” I have become aware of how I’m feeling throughout my day. How we’re feeling is the heartbeat of life. When life is falling down around me, I reconnect with my core-desired feelings and get focused. When you are having a rough day, think about how you want that day to feel and regroup.
- Find gratitude. Gratitude and anxiety cannot live in the same space. Whenever I get anxious or frustrated, I start thinking of things at that moment I can be grateful for. Whenever you notice negativity starting to creep in, shift to a space of gratitude. The gratitude exercise is one of my favorites. By the time I’m done listing what I’m grateful for, either the event has passed, or I’ve come up with a solution. It leaves me smiling and in a higher vibe than when I started.
- Smile and laugh. I got this technique from Tony Robbins. It’s all about changing your body’s state. Laughing or smiling doesn’t mean you don’t understand the weight of a situation; instead, it means you are choosing to not let it get you down. If you’re in a rough spot, put on some Beyonce or watch a Kevin Hart video; your mood will change.
Being positive takes work, but you are worth the work. Being positive doesn’t mean that life will always be rosy; rather, being positive means that you will be able to find the good where others see none. The ability to do that will improve your life in ways you could never imagine.
I’d love to hear how you handle challenges in your life. Share how you handle your challenges in the comments below. Don’t be selfish and help a sister-friend out; you never know who your story will help!
Until Next Time,
Love Yourself, Love Your Family, Love Your Life
Charmaine
P.S. If you are struggling with finding your happy spot, don’t be afraid to seek help. Motherhood is tricky and harder when navigated alone.
