“Am I crazy?” I wondered as I walked into the elementary school my oldest attends, not as a parent, but as an employee. It was my first day of work in over six years after being a stay-at-home mom and I was doing something completely different than my pre-motherhood career.
Before I had kids, I poured myself into dental hygiene school. It took up a great deal of time, money, and sanity, but it was also an investment in my future. I was single then, and it was important to me to have a career where I wouldn’t rely on a partner for financial stability. After graduation I worked full time and was proud of the career I had. I loved many things about that job, including how hard I’d worked to get that degree, the financial stability, and the relationships with coworkers and patients alike.
In 2015, I met the man who would become my husband, and we married in 2017. Our oldest was born in 2019 and we always knew that I would be a stay-at-home mom. My husband’s job could support us, and I was thrilled to be with our baby full time. Our second little girl was born in 2021, and by then, the thought of ever going back to work was a distant one.
Stay-at-home mom life with two under two was chaotic at best, but returning to the workforce one day felt like an impossibility. I told myself I would go back to dental hygiene when my girls were in school full time. Doing a different job was something I never considered because it felt like “throwing away” the work I’d done earning my degree.
The Journey to the Decision
I had seen the sign outside the school with the “hiring” message since the beginning of the school year and I played the “what if” game with myself for weeks. Towards the end of October, I actually considered it seriously.
My kids are in school almost full time (my oldest is in elementary school and my youngest is in preschool four days a week) and they’d be at school when I was at work, so there’d be no need to find childcare. Our neighborhood is across the street from the school, so there would be almost zero commute to speak of. The shifts are only three hours per day, so I could still drive my girls to school and pick them up. And, the idea of earning money again appealed to me. The only thing holding me back: that being an elementary school lunch aide was radically different from the career I’d had before!
Besides the reasons mentioned above, the main driving factor behind me making the decision to apply for the job was my desire to be part of the school where my girls will attend for the next five years. As an employee, I would get to know the staff members and students, and I’d get a glimpse into my daughter’s day and see how things “flow.”
The First Day Reality
That first day was hectic and messy (literally–a lot of spilled chocolate milk!). I felt totally out of my element. Granted, it wasn’t rocket science, but it also was very different from what I was used to. Stick me in a dental office, and at least I know what to do! This was a different ballgame.
The chaos, the food, the noise, the yelling. An elementary school lunchroom at its finest! I wiped tables, opened food items, and handed out straws, sporks, napkins, and ketchup–all the while wondering what on earth I’d gotten myself into.
But now, it’s safe to say I’ve found my groove with my new job. I’ve gotten into a predictable routine both at work and at home. Most weekday mornings I get the girls ready for school, take my youngest to preschool, then drop my daughter off at her elementary school. When I get back home, I have about an hour and a half before I head back to the elementary school to start my shift, which has become my favorite time of day. Depending on what needs to be done, I can either be productive around the house or take some time for myself. Either way, I savor the alone time!
Money Talks
I love when payday rolls around. While the checks aren’t much, it is money I earned MYSELF. The satisfaction I feel around that can’t be measured in dollars and cents. When I make an appointment for a manicure or order myself something fun from Amazon, I know that I can pay for it with my “own” money (and it’s not coming out of the joint account we use to pay bills). That feeling is priceless.
I didn’t realize how much I missed having some financial independence. I also like knowing we have my paychecks to supplement paying for household stuff as needed. There is no arguing the financial benefit of me taking a part-time job.
What I WASN’T expecting to gain, however, are things I can’t put a price on, like the sense of purpose outside our home that I have gained. My time at home with our girls over the last six years is something I wouldn’t trade. However, being a full time stay-at-home parent is hard and we don’t have family nearby to help. I did not realize how much I missed having something where I can be someone other than “Mom, mom, mom!”
I am back to becoming a more well-rounded person, which makes me feel like a better version of myself.
Gratitude for the Friendships Formed
I work with a great group of women. The sense of teamwork and camaraderie I feel has breathed new life into me. I tend to think of myself as an introvert, but even introverts need to socialize! And there is something validating about being around a group of like-minded ladies. It’s even led to preschool playdates and talk of a lunch lady cocktail hour after work one day. I feel my long-dead social life being resuscitated, and I’m here for it!
I also love being able to see my first grader at school. Getting to see her with her friends and watching firsthand how her independence is growing at school has been a wonderful experience.
I wasn’t anticipating how much I’d also enjoy getting to know the other students. I give hugs to kids having a hard day, hand out band-aids, calm fears, and lend an ear. The smiles, waves, and high-fives I get from the kids is heartwarming. I think it’s so important for kids to have people outside of home they feel comfortable with. I feel privileged to do this along with the other wonderful staff members. It takes a village and I love being a part of it.
Go For It!
Maybe this resonates with you. If you are a stay-at-home parent who has been considering returning to work, my advice is to give it a try. Maybe you go back to the job you knew before, or maybe you try something different. You may find a renewed sense of purpose like I did. It might fill a void you didn’t know was there. It certainly did for me.
I am not sure what the future looks like in terms of my career for the long-term, but what I’m doing now feels good “for now.” And that is okay!
