The sun is shining. The grass in green. The skies are blue. Flowers are in bloom. Squirrels playfully chase each other between the trees. Birds sing their happy, chirpy songs. Couples float hand in hand, hearts dancing around their heads. Babies squeal with delight in their strollers. Love is undoubtedly in the air. You soak it all in as you walk around with an iced caramel macchiato in your freshly manicured hand.
You notice your bare ring finger. You are single. You are a mama. You are not dead. You realize you’re finally ready. You feel more alive than you have felt in months. Summer is here. Opportunities abound. You have been so focused on being the super mama (which is amazing!) that you’ve forgotten all about that hopeless romantic who lives inside of you. Follow these tips for finding love (or at least a date!) as a mama who happens to be single!
- Talk. Talk. Talk. You have at least three hundred Facebook friends. Connect! Ask everyone and anyone you know if they know someone who would love to date someone as awesome as you. Call your friends: everyone has a brother, cousin, friend or even an ex-boyfriend that they could potentially hook you up with! Hot guy at Starbucks? Say hello! Everyone is a possibility.
- Dating sites! There are zillions of busy singles out there looking for love. On most sites you can check off boxes for exactly what you’re looking for from height to education, lifestyle, etc. Bonus: you can peruse what’s out there in the comfort of your own home with a nice glass of wine . . . in your pajamas sans makeup. How awesome is that?
- Expand your horizons. Take a class, check out that hot, new Detroit restaurant, hike through Maybury State Park, stroll along the Riverwalk. Even better? Volunteer! Help someone else, help yourself. New places equal new faces . . . connect!
- Be happy with who you are and how you feel! Get a blowout, slip on a new dress and enjoy yourself. Nothing is more beautiful than a smile on your happy face. A happy woman equals a happy mama . . . plus, like attracts like! Look good and feel good, it’s contagious!
- Be honest about your intentions. Are you looking for love? Are you simply interested in conversation and a good meal? Do you want to expand your family? We are all grownups, save everyone a hassle and be up front about your wants and needs.
- Leave the details of your divorce at home. Maybe you have a wonderful relationship with your ex. Maybe the very thought of him makes your skin crawl. Keep the ex-talk to a minimum. How you speak of the father of your children is a direct reflection of who you are, be respectful of your circumstances. Red flag anyone who speaks terribly of his ex-wife. It is perfectly fine to provide factual information, but please save the drama!
- Keep your kids out of your dating life! Whether a toddler or teenager, your children do not need to get to know your new beau. Let’s be honest, they’ve already suffered through one major relationship failure. There is no need to expose your babes to the man of the moment. Protect the kiddos first! Until things become serious, keep dating separately from momming. Reserve your dates for nights the babes are visiting their dad or schedule a babysitter.
- Minimize the mom guilt! Regardless of marital status, mom guilt is huge! Being a single mama? It can sometimes feel all consuming. There is no reason to feel guilty for moving on with your life. You deserve to have romance and love and excitement.
- Remember that you are the hero of your story. You’re single, you’re not desperate. You certainly don’t need saving! Be strong and confident in the stunning woman that you are and let that confidence shine through.
- Have fun! Your path to single motherhood may have been a stormy one, but remember there is always the sunshine after the rain. Relax and just have fun, who knows where this beautiful life will take you? Love always wins!
What dating tips can have you found useful in navigating new love as a mom?
