When you find out you are expecting for the second time around, we all experience the same normal emotions- excitement, shock… but there’s one emotion that almost all second-time moms feel, but don’t often talk about: fear.
For your first baby’s entire life, they have been your entire world. You never knew you could love someone as much as you love them. They have been the sole receiver of every ounce of your attention. And while giving them a sibling is exciting, it’s also scary. Will they feel left out when you are tending to the new baby? Will they feel replaced? Jealous? Can you even love another baby as much as you love your first?!
We don’t always talk about it. Because in our social media world filled with happy statuses and your best photos, we are only supposed to talk about the good, perfect stuff. Not the vulnerable, scary stuff. But, those feelings are normal, too.
I felt them when I found out I was pregnant again. My first pregnancy was hard. I was on bed rest the entire time, my twins were born super prematurely, and they had a long NICU battle after their birth. From the moment I saw them, they became everything. They were the loves of my life. I feared I couldn’t possibly love any other child like I did them. I feared I couldn’t give them the same attention I always have.
The truth is, after twins, adding a third really wasn’t difficult. But still, my big girls don’t get the same attention. They now have a baby sister that shares my love. But they haven’t lost anything.
They are the most wonderful, loving big sisters I could have ever imagined. Watching how much they care for, and help with, their baby makes me love them even more. And it turns out, I do have enough love to share. I love this baby just as much as I love her sisters. You will, too. You get to experience the same falling in love feeling all over again. You get to watch your first baby grow up over night and become a big brother/sister. You’ll watch in amazement as you see their sibling bond form. You’ll share your attention with everyone. Because after all, you’re Mom. Moms are made to love their babies, to rock them to sleep, to scratch their backs, to console them, to nurse them, to hold their hands… Whether there are ten little fingers or twenty. You aren’t taking anything away by adding to your family, you are giving a gift. A gift of life, of family, of friendship, of sister/brotherhood. You are Mom. So take a deep breath. Smile. And enjoy the experience the second time around. Your heart is about to double, more than you ever thought it could.
