I remember when my first son Charlie was two weeks old. My husband and I had taken him out to a nice little Italian restaurant. Charlie, being a normal newborn was in a milk coma and sleeping peacefully in his car seat. Two tables down, a couple was wrangling an impatient two-year-old. He was whining, not sitting still and making a scene. I smugly looked down at my little angle and thought: “We are really good parents. Our child would never act like that. He’s being so quiet and sweet.”
I’m not kidding. I honestly thought because of my superior parenting skills, my two-week-old was ‘behaving’ in a restaurant.
I was horrified when my friend bought her three-year-old a personal electronic device for Christmas. Why wouldn’t they choose to read books to them? I read to my infant several books a day. They must not care as much as I do about my child.
And don’t get me started about sugar for babies. Pure poison. I actually shuttered at a play date when my friend gave her eight-month-old daughter a tiny taste of frosting on a cupcake. How could she do that to her child? She must not be as good of a parent I was.
I didn’t judge other parents purposfully. I had just been force-fed through parenting books, parenting classes, parenting blogs and everything else I was supposed to be reading that there was a certain (i.e. right) way to raise your children. If you didn’t they will probably grow up to be dumb, overweight and most likely be in jail by they time they turn eighteen.
Let me fast forward several years and add in another little boy. Charlie, now four, has his own kids Kindle and head phones. It makes road trips a magical time. I can read a magazine and my husband can listen to a podcast. Everyone is happy. He still has to ask permission to use it and we monitor closely what he watches.
My one-year-old, Henry, LOVES ice cream. Whoops. I just can’t bear to watch him look at his big brother with puppy dog eyes as he enjoys a scoop of chocolate ice cream after dinner.
We still go to restaurants. But, we pick wisely and eat quickly. And, often kids Kindles and iPhones will be brought out, so my husband and I can enjoy ten minutes of conversation. My rule is, if the restaurant has high chairs it’s fair game.
So to all the moms I used to roll my eyes at and audibly gasp at (not kidding- I wanted you to hear my disgust in your poor parenting), I’m sorry. As I’ve learned the hard way this is not an easy job. Most of us don’t have the money, time or energy to be as perfect as all those blogs and books want us to be. As much as I thought I wanted to be that perfect blog-like mommy, I realized that it does not make me happy.
Yeah, I’ll be the first one to admit I’ll make my family pose for thirty takes to get that perfect Facebook picture and I still try to feed my kids healthy homemade foods most days, but some days I’m getting by on three hours of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and cereal for dinner.
It’s all about balance, right?
