When my son was still an infant, I stumbled across some slightly crumpled papers in a desk drawer: a brief version of my birth story that I had scribbled down a few months prior. As I re-read it, I was struck by moments and emotions that I had already forgotten. My son’s birth was not easy, and in my preoccupation with what was difficult, I’d overlooked some of the positive feelings I had experienced. Someday, I thought, I’ll take the time this deserves and put every detail to paper. It was a process I knew I wanted (needed) to devote more time to, one day, maybe after I’d had more time to reflect. I continually put it off.
The how and what and why of each birth story is unique, but the importance of expressing it is universal. Documenting our stories gives us ownership and pride over the amazing feats our bodies have accomplished. When I first saw Amie McCracken’s book, Giving Birth to Motherhood: How to Write Your Birth Story, I was reminded to finally do what I’d been procrastinating for over two years: I would dedicate the time and energy that my birth story, the most challenging and undoubtedly best day(s) of my life, deserved.
The book is formatted as a writing guide, with brief summaries at the beginning of each chapter, followed by open-ended prompts regarding all aspects of your birthing experience, including the role of your partner, the group dynamic with providers, your own expectations of yourself and your body, and the logistics of what happened. In the end, there is guidance to reflect and synthesize these pieces into one cohesive narrative, all while considering your intended audience. Is this something you’ll want to share with others? Or something you’re doing solely for yourself?
I decided that I would write for me, free of apprehension about whose well-meaning eyes might one day read it. I wanted to let myself be truly open, honest, and vulnerable. While my toddler napped, I’d prepare a cup of tea, play some relaxing music, and devote an hour or two to writing.
Writing was powerful. Draining. Emotional. At times, uncomfortable. And ultimately, rewarding. Just like the birth experience itself. Some prompts brought up feelings that surprised me in their intensity, and details I’d forgotten flooded back as I let my thoughts flow from pen to page: my husband sneaking me red popsicles after 30-some hours of labor, my doula tying my hair up into a ponytail while I was pushing. Even after two and a half years, these once-dormant memories were incredibly vivid.
As I prepare to give birth to my second child in a few months, this book has allowed me to forgive and accept the parts that did not go according to plan and to acknowledge how strong and capable my body is. Yes, I actually did it – I brought a life into the world! Yes, I can (and will) do it again! And on a late spring day after this new baby has arrived, I’ll sit down with Amie’s book and relish writing another birth story.
If you are a woman who has given birth, this book is a great avenue for reflection. The tone is encouraging, non-judgmental, and inclusive of all experiences and situations. Whether you welcomed your baby into the world yesterday or years ago. Whether your birth was traumatic or went perfectly according to plan. Whether you had a hospital birth, a home birth, a vaginal birth, a C-section, an epidural, an episiotomy, or some combination of the above. Your story may be a triumphant praise of yourself, your baby, and all who supported you, or a vulnerable voice accepting what was difficult and disappointing. Either way, your story deserves to be told, whether it’s discussed with your partner, shared with your baby one day, or kept to yourself.
Who else is going to tell it?
Amie McCracken edits and typesets books for self-published authors. Four months after her son was born, she sat down with a journal and wrote her birth story, discovering more through that process than she could have ever imagined. She felt compelled to bring that same healing to other mothers.
Giving Birth to Motherhood, How to Write Your Birthol Story was created to help mothers find their feet by journaling their birth story. Using a mixture of essays and writing prompts, this book will help mothers discover more about themselves as people and find catharsis.
