Having a New Year’s Eve birthday has always been fun. However, this past birthday, I turned forty. An age I was in complete denial turning. If I’m being honest, it’s been a little hard coming to terms with being forty.
While on a call with other Detroit Mom contributors, someone shared that they completed forty things before turning forty (shout out to Jackie!). I had already crossed that milestone a few weeks earlier, and my first thought was, great, I missed my chance.
But then I stopped myself. Why not now?
So this is it. Forty things to do now that I’m forty. This list is part fun, part growth, and fully about honoring where I am and where I’m headed.
Just for Fun
Somewhere along the way, fun started getting replaced by responsibilities. This first section is my reminder to make room for joy again.
1. Learn how to play Euchre.
Before you say anything, I was born and raised in Maryland. Granted, I have lived in Michigan longer than I’ve lived in Maryland, but still. It’s time I learn and can play with my husband and family.
2. Have a “Treat Yo Self” Day.
Yes! A whole day dedicated to treating myself. I’m talking endless possibilities here and I plan on making Tom and Donna from Parks and Rec proud.
3. Host a themed party.
Have you seen those videos on TikTok where everyone dresses up as a movie character from a movie of the same actor or actress? Or even a decades party? It looks like so much fun and I need to start planning now.
4. Get more tattoos.
The last time I got a tattoo was fifteen years ago. I’ve thought about getting another for a while now. It’s time to finally book an appointment and get it done!
5. Take myself out on a solo date.
Coffee and a trip to the bookstore. Dinner at a restaurant I’ve always wanted to try. Going to the movie theater and seeing a movie before it comes out on prime video. Honestly, that sounds amazing.
6. Say “yes” to something unexpected.
I tend to overthink things, so I want a few more “sure, why not” moments.
7. Binge watch a show I’ve always wanted to see.
I need something on the TV besides YouTube and Nickelodeon. It might be time to finally watch Breaking Bad or Yellowstone.
8. Start a sourdough starter.
Silly I know. But it just feels like one of those cozy-life things I want to try. Plus, I get to pick a fun name.
9. Take a photo of myself that I truly love.
This year I want to do a photoshoot and appreciate the body that carried and grew four incredible boys.
10. Do something I did in my twenties.
Go to a karaoke bar. Go out dancing. I just need to remind myself that fun doesn’t have an age limit.
Personal Growth
Not all growth comes from big, life-changing moments. This next section is about those small decisions that slowly shape who you’re becoming.
11. Set new goals for this decade.
It’s the Capricorn in me: I’ve realized I feel better when I have goals to work toward. Not pressure-filled goals, just things that remind me I’m still building a life I’m excited about.
12. Protect my energy.
Not everything deserves my time, attention, or reaction. Between work, kids, and everything else, my energy matters. I want to be more aware of what I give it to.
13. Read a self-help book that actually speaks to me.
I want something that feels relatable for where I am right now. Not just advice that sounds great in theory but doesn’t work in real life. Any recommendations, please send my way!
14. Learn something new.
I’ve always wanted to knit, crochet, or sew. There’s something about slowing down and making something with my hands that feels really calming, especially in a house that’s usually loud, busy, and full of chaos. And hey, maybe once I know how to sew, I can keep these hand-me-downs going a little longer too.
15. Let go of unrealistic expectations.
Of myself, my house, my schedule, everything. There are times when everything in my life feels overwhelming and I don’t even know where to start. Instead of letting it affect my mood or make me feel like I’m failing, I’m learning to focus on what I can do and not everything that isn’t getting done. There is always tomorrow.
16. Be nicer to myself.
I can be my own worst critic. I’m constantly thinking about what I could have done better, said differently, or handled another way. I want to start giving myself more grace and less pressure.
17. Have one honest conversation I’ve been avoiding.
Avoiding it rarely makes it easier, and peace usually comes once it’s finally said out loud. There are many conversations I’ve held back on having because of fear, but it’s only hurting me in the end.
18. Not let Mom guilt take over.
I know it will probably never fully go away, but I don’t want it to control how I feel after the choices I make. My kids are loved, taken care of, and doing okay even when I take time for myself or don’t do everything. I have to remind myself of that more.
19. Trust my intuition more often.
I want to spend less time second-guessing myself and more time trusting what I already know deep down–especially when it comes to the everyday decisions that come with raising four very different boys.
20. Choose consistency over motivation.
Motivation shows up when it wants to, but consistency is what actually changes things. My husband will be the first to tell you I’m really good at starting projects around the house or in my life and not always finishing them. Learning how to stay consistent, even after the motivation fades, is key.
Spiritual + Inner Growth
Life feels loud most days. This section is about learning how important it is to create quiet moments to reflect, reset, and check in with myself.
21. Set an intention for the day.
School mornings are pure chaos in my house and usually end with me wanting to curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth. I need to take a moment to think about how I want to show up that day. Maybe it’s patience, calm, or simply being more present. A small reminder before the day starts can change how everything else unfolds.
22. Accept that I’m not for everyone.
Not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay. Some people just won’t be my people. I’m learning that I’d rather stay true to who I am than try to be someone everyone likes.
23. Write a letter to my younger self.
Younger me worried about so many things that ended up being okay. I need to tell my younger self that.
24. Forgive something I’ve been holding onto.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It just means choosing peace over replaying the hurt. I don’t want to keep carrying this into another decade of my life.
25. Spend time in nature.
Fresh air, sunshine, and simply stepping outside always calms my mind, yet I never do it enough. As much as I love being at home, I need more time outside.
26. Embrace change.
I don’t love change. I like having a plan and knowing what to expect. However life, especially with four boys, doesn’t always go that way. I need to learn to adjust instead of letting it throw off my whole day.
27. Practice being present without distractions.
I want to be more intentional about putting my phone down during everyday moments with my kids and husband. Car rides, meals, the little things. I don’t want to look back and realize I missed this connection.
28. Start working with a therapist.
I need a space to talk things through and understand myself better. Working with a therapist can give me the tools to navigate life, emotions, and everything in between.
29. Reconnect with my faith in my own way.
I was raised Catholic but it hasn’t always been a consistent part of my life. I don’t know exactly what this looks like yet, but I feel pulled to explore it more and see what it could mean for me now.
30. Remind myself that growth doesn’t have an expiration date.
I’m still becoming who I’m meant to be. There is no deadline. Growth doesn’t stop just because you’ve hit a certain age.
Relationships + Connection
When everything else fades into the background, it’s the relationships in my life that really matter. This section is inspired by just that.
31. Plan individual “yes days” with each of my boys.
I want to create intentional one-on-one time with each of them, where they get to pick what we do and don’t have to compete for my attention.
32. Reconnect with someone I’ve lost touch with.
Sometimes all it takes is a simple “I was thinking about you.” Not every friendship has to pick up exactly where it left off but I think there’s something really meaningful about letting people know they still crossed your mind and still mattered.
33. Tell someone exactly how much they mean to me.
I think a lot of us assume people just know how we feel about them, but I’m not sure we say it out loud enough. People should hear the good things while they can. Life is too short.
34. Strengthen a friendship that fills my cup.
Between kids, schedules, and everything else, friendships can easily fall to the bottom of the list. I don’t want that anymore. Even if it’s just a quick coffee, a walk, or a voice memo in the car, I want to be more intentional about making time for my friends. The friendships that matter deserve more than “we should get together soon.”
35. Plan a just-because date night with my husband.
Not for an anniversary, not because we “should,” just because we still choose each other. I want to make space for a night where we can laugh, talk, flirt, and enjoy each other without distractions.
Life + Intention
This last section is about stepping into this decade with more intention instead of simply moving through it.
36. Declutter something that has been weighing on me.
When my space feels calmer, my brain usually does too. Right now it feels like I have a million tabs open in my head, and honestly, it’s time for a spring cleaning of both my house and my mind.
37. Get clear about what I want this decade to feel like.
Not perfectly planned, just being honest about what I want more of in this season of life.
38. Create a tradition my kids will remember.
The little traditions are often the ones they carry forever. I want to create things my boys will someday bring into their own families.
39. Celebrate an accomplishment, whether small or big.
I’m usually already halfway into the next task before I even notice I finished something. I want to slow down and actually let myself feel proud sometimes!
40. Commit to getting stronger and staying consistent.
Not for a number on the scale, but so I can feel stronger, move easier, keep up with my boys, and take better care of the body that takes care of everyone else.
This list was not easy to make. I think this is my twentieth draft, which feels very on brand for me. Sitting down and really thinking about what I want this next decade to look like forced me to slow down for a minute. Between work, kids, schedules, and everyday life, I don’t always stop long enough to ask myself what I actually want or where I’m headed next.
Some of these things will be easy and some will probably take longer than I expect, but that’s kind of the point. Turning forty isn’t about suddenly having everything figured out. It’s about being more intentional with my time, loving my people well, continuing to grow, and giving myself permission to keep becoming. I’m not done yet, and honestly, that feels really good to say out loud.
