It’s a typical Wednesday morning, and I’m at Whole Foods perusing the plethora of children’s all-natural bath products. Suddenly, the cart handle feels moist under my palms. As the organic shampoos and fair trade lotions begin to blur before me, I become noticeably dizzy, even nauseous. My grip weakens as I attempt to stabilize my noodle-like body, and my chest tightens. I’m having a panic attack. In public. Before noon. On a “normal” Wednesday, approximately 30 minutes before I’m due to pick my two-year-old up from school.
Hi, my name is Kelsey, and I have “high-functioning” anxiety. A post by Sara Lindberg on the Headspace blog (a great app for creating calm, BTW) describes people like me as “… doing really well in their jobs, in relationships and raising kids, despite having significant anxiety.”
While full-blown panic attacks are not an everyday occurrence (for me), I am often living with a constant “nervous pressure” within my chest, unable to pinpoint one specific reason why I feel this way. And though I may seem OK on the outside, as the saying (sort of) goes, “Objects in mirror are not as they appear.”
My anxiety feels different on different days, too; there are bad days, and there are better days. This “disorder” (ew, I hate that word) can manifest differently in everyone, making it hard to explain and often relate to, let alone attempt to manage.
Wherever you might fall on the anxiety spectrum, I’ve created a list of strategies – and trust me, I’m still learning – to help navigate this ongoing journey. Emphasis on the ONGOING. And heck, the JOURNEY, too. After all, I’m a mama with family, friends, and a SELF that deserves me at my best.
1.) When in Doubt, Work it Out. When I’m having a high-anxiety day, my “anxious brain” tries to take over and talk me out of heading to the barre (aka, where I work out). I have driven there and left. I have cried in the parking lot. But more often than not, I have walked through the doors.
Working out relieves stress and boosts your mood. This is science, girls! Getting a beachier bod is just a bonus to the mental health benefits of flexing my mind’s muscles and chit-chatting with my tribe. Whether it’s barre, boot camp, or a brisk walk around the park…you do you! When I commit to attending class at least three times a week, I notice a change in the way my anxiety affects me each day, and my ability to overcome it.
2.) Talk to Someone. LET. IT. OUT. My “someone” slash saving Grace is my therapist at The Honey Studio in Ferndale. Side note: I can’t recommend this space enough as an incredible resource for all moms and moms-to-be. Yes, I can vent to my loved ones until I’m blue in the face (trust me – I do this), but having someone dedicated to listening and supporting me is a Godsend. Some weeks, I might add a session when my anxious brain tries to take over. And that’s OK. It’s a place to cry it out, talk it out, and even laugh it out…and I always leave with a lifted spirit. Not into talk therapy? I SO get that; it can be challenging to find someone that’s a good match. Other options include trying the new wave of text counseling or finding a local support group of moms that “get it,” too.
3.) Take a SOLO Break. Example: Today I went to Target…ALONE. Without grabby kid hands or needy husband needs. No, this isn’t about retail therapy and buying all the Hearth and Hand by Magnolia Wooden Nesting Houses or Galvanized Storage Bins my heart desires. Instead, it’s about listening to my music as loud as I want on the drive, and singing (or crying) along as I see fit. It’s walking down aisles with leisure and even checking items off my weekly grocery list in the meantime (two birds, one red cart). In all, it’s just a mental and physical break in a place I enjoy. So maybe it’s not Target. Maybe it’s a coffee shop, the beach, or even better…a spa! Wherever it is, give yourself the time to be alone and turn your mind off. Your brain – and family – will thank you.
Of course, this list could go on and on, but hopefully it’s a start for you, too. More mindfulness and less produce aisle panic attacks = GOALS.
In the meantime, follow along on my IG for more mama moments and real talk about mental health.
Thoughtful insight into an all to overlooked condition that manifests itself in ways unique to each. Thank you for honestly sharing your experience and providing steps for relief!