Detroit Mom Welcomes Jackie, a Macomb County Mom

Hi! I’m Jackie. I love puzzle games, Tetris, sudoku, solitaire, and puzzles. I don’t play enough cards and haven’t gone to karaoke in years, but I love to sing and dance in my house or minivan. I’m learning ASL (American Sign Language); I knew the alphabet in high school, our household picked up a lot with teaching my son to speak, and then I started taking classes. It is a skill that if you don’t use it, you lose it, so I try to keep up with it.

I work part-time with my dad and my husband at our small family business of industrial plating. Peanut Butter Jackie is a play on being part of the “sandwich generation” with being a mom and a caregiver for my grandma, and handling a lot of things for my parents. I love volunteering at my kids’ schools and leading my daughter’s Girl Scout troop. It gives me so much joy to work with my girls and fulfills a deep teaching desire.

Putting Myself First

I have started giving in to my Task Avoidance Procrastination and letting the hyperfocus lead. I try to take care of all the little things I need to handle when avoiding the “Big Task,” until my brain is ready to handle it. Things are still getting achieved, but not always in the order they should be. It’s a weird feeling to give in to, yet I’ve found I’m more productive and less stressed.

Now, there are plenty of times I need to buckle down and get a task done. But allowing my brain some freedom has been a big game changer in my life. The people I’m responsible for often control the majority of my time and my main focus, so balancing between their care, daily tasks, dreams, and quality time is difficult, but we get by.

My Family

I am a “Mom+.” I have a 12-year-old son with lots of stamps on his special needs card–Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, Tourette/Tic disorder, and OCD. With my husband we also have a neurotypical eight-year-old girl who is a micro-managing mini-me!

My husband and I first met through mutual friends when I was going through a surprise divorce with my son’s father. I co-parent and am friends now with my son’s father; the five of us randomly go to family events together.

Aside from being a “Special Needs Mom,” I am a bit of a “Pinterest Mom”–I like doing crafts and silly art projects. We like to attend a lot of events like theatre performances, fireworks, play centers, school events, museums, and anything dinosaur-related . . . we’re busy!

Where I’m From + Where I Am Now

I currently live about a mile from where I grew up, which was NOT our plan, but when house hunting on a deadline, the best available at the time was just a few blocks away from my parents and grandparents. Being so close to them turned out to be great with their increasing health needs.

My kids are going to the elementary school I went to. It’s a weird flex about the length of time this area has been my home. I planned to move away and not be one of those people who never left their hometown, but I’m back and grateful that I am. The suburbs give a great sense of space and community, and we’re right by the freeway to hop downtown for big events!

I love being by Willie’s Donuts for their special “Push-in” donut with sprinkles, being biking distance from World’s Finest Frozen Custard and Putt-Putt (my kids love the huge cement animals on the course), and Phuket Thai for their Chicken Pad Pak medium+! The kids love the different style parks and playgrounds, and we have many best friends for playdates.

A Defining Moment of Motherhood

We knew something was “off” with our son–his speech delay was becoming more and more . . . delayed. Getting the Autism title and learning about the different therapies available took a long time and it changed me as a mom and as a human. We’re in a completely different parenting world now.

I first leaned heavy on my memories from college courses on Children’s Psychology and Children’s Literature; then, I was forced to learn about pediatric speech, occupational therapy, and other therapies. I absorbed all the information I could on how to best help my son, made endless visuals for him, learned ASL, talked to anyone with information, and made connections with other parents. It changed me so much for the better.

Finding + Cultivating Community As a Mother

Community is deeply important to any parent. When learning about Autism, I was the one reaching out to other parents in the waiting room, chatting with therapists, volunteering at school, and getting parent group text threads going. I’m the mom at pick-up chatting up everyone, forcing others to talk with me and making so many amazing friends in the process. I love knowing all the school and therapy parents both my children are around. I love chit chat, and I’m the friend to call when you want to talk about the deep scary things.

My Intentions With Detroit Mom

Parents tend to close in while struggling for fear of judgement; you are not alone. A little communication goes a long way. I enjoy being a safe space to push people out of their comfort zone and I talk openly about our struggles. We all have someone’s childhood in our hands, and want to do better than how we were raised.

We’re so excited to welcome these incredible writers to our team! Our previous introduction post shared about Karissa, a Grosse Pointe Park mom.