Hi! I’m Lesley! I grew up in Hamtramck and find myself back in the Metro Detroit area. I have two kids, both girls who are six years apart (a four year old and almost 10 year old). My husband and I have been married almost 14 years. We have two cats and four frogs (maybe another dog soon). I’m outdoorsy, hippie, anxious, drink-y, adventurous, introverted, garden-y . . . I don’t think I fit any label “type” of mom, unless it’s “Quiet Crunchy-ish Chaos.”
Hobbies Are Fluid
I think life is my hobby! It includes a lot of food and cooking. Eating popsicles in the morning and chips and salsa for lunch. Since I make a lot clothes for our children, you can usually find me working with a pattern or fabric or sitting at a machine. I love using natural products for skin and health care and I’m on a constant search to create ones I love.
I’ve spent the past two years perfecting the bread recipes I use weekly (spoiler alert: I can always find a way to make it “better”). I’m passionate about parenting my kids in a way that feels good, right, and authentic. I love a good trip and a good vacation, so I plan for both throughout the year.
My Ultimate Self-Care
I wash my face. I know this sounds simple but, for me, it’s a big deal. After I had my first daughter, I lost myself. I lost my community. I lost my sense of everything. She was born at 38 weeks, but at only 4lbs 6oz. I didn’t understand when the doctor told me I was released, but she had to stay. No one explained it to me. No one explained anything to me.
The nurse inferred I had starved her. And I felt pressured to breastfeed. If I didn’t, my baby wouldn’t be as smart, as healthy, as she could be. I would be setting her up for failure. I felt like the message was, “Yeah fed is best. BUT you really should breastfeed or your child won’t love you and they will be a serial killer.”
We had issues with nursing because she was so small. I spent the next seven years obsessing over how I had starved her. So taking time in the morning, so I can spend 10 minutes washing and moisturizing my face, is a big deal.
From the D
I was born in Detroit, at Hutzel Hospital (so was my oldest daughter) and raised in Hamtramck. One of my favorite things about Detroit is that it just doesn’t give up! I love that it’s dysfunctional and goes to therapy, after it’s crashed and burned (for example, FINALLY turning Belle Isle over to the state, but only after it’s been criminally neglected).
Going down to Eastern Market on Saturday mornings, Campus Martius and ice skating in the winter, to Belle Isle to play and explore and shopping at Honeybee Market are some of our favorite things to do in Detroit.
My Parenting Turning Point
When my older daughter was just starting her toddlerhood, she was having these intense meltdowns that frustrated and triggered me. I started doing a ridiculous amount of research, because neither of us were enjoying life very much.
The first time I met her meltdown with love rather than annoyance, anger, or frustration, I sat on the floor and told her I was here for her. I offered her a hug and a snuggle. And after a few minutes, she accepted. She was still upset, but she calmed down quickly.
The more I did that, the fewer meltdowns she had, and they became shorter and shorter in duration. It was such a turning point in my parenting and in my relationship with my daughter. Everyone just wants to be loved, considered, and accepted–just as they are.
Importance of Community in Motherhood
My community disappeared when I had my first daughter. Or maybe I disappeared on my community. We had some difficulties at the beginning of my daughter’s life and I really put her above everything. I didn’t reach out to anyone for help. I didn’t want to be a burden or be made fun of because I didn’t know anything. And, I was scared no one would show up.
It’s hard to completely understand (unless you have been a parent in some way) how absolutely mind bending the way being a parent breaks you and makes you whole at the same time. With my second daughter, I had a small group of mama friends with a built-in understanding. I struggled less with PPD and PPA. Community is the most effective antidepressant.
What I Want to Share Through Detroit Mom
I want to be the safe space for the witchy moms who might feel apprehensive about being witchy. A resource for mamas who are trying to do more natural skin and health care and help mamas make clothes that fit their kids who are built like giraffes. I want to support mamas who are having a hard time when their kids are having a hard time. I want to contribute because I don’t feel I had the community or resources I needed. Or that I could access them without shame or fear. I want to create what I didn’t have.
