Motherhood is a beautiful chaos that has transformed my life. Between a busy tech job and twin toddlers, my life is a whirlwind. I’m learning to prioritize myself, lean on my community, and find joy in the little moments. Whether I’m creating art, exploring Metro Detroit, or connecting with other moms, this is my journey–a little messy, full of joy and love.
All About Patti
My favorite hobbies include crafting, and making art with my hands. I set up a creativity cart right next to my work desk that holds all the artsy things I love. Abstract art at the museum and graffiti art in downtown Detroit inspire me. On the weekends you can find me chilling on the couch or playing music on the piano/guitar with the kiddos. We love to go on little adventures exploring new neighborhoods and festivals. My perfect day = good food and good conversations with family and friends.
Putting Myself First as a Mom
Making time for yourself as a mom is a really hard thing to do. When I have a free moment, I’m usually thinking about something for my twins. They need new shoes, did they take their medicine, what do they need from the store? By the time I focus on myself, I’m too completely drained.
Prioritizing myself has become my mission over the last year. I started going to the gym and exercising several days a week (those feel-good endorphins are life-changing). I have therapy sessions regularly. And, I schedule at least two friend hangouts (sans kids) a month (having a mom community is key!).
Adding these three pieces made me a happier and better mom. It also forces me to ask my spouse for more support and acknowledge that he is capable of caring for the kids. (I know it’s soo hard to let go of control as a mama!)
My Family
I’m a twin mama, balancing a chaotic tech job and an equally fun and chaotic family. My husband Terrell and I have two-year-old twins. A year ago, we moved to Metro Detroit to be closer to family. We love to spend time outdoors and go to local festivals. We are always looking for new activities and good food!
Where I’m From + Where I Live Now
I’m originally from southeast Michigan, very close to Toledo, Ohio. I moved down south for almost 20 years. We recently moved to Metro Detroit and we absolutely love our city, Royal Oak. The Main St. in Royal Oak has the best food and a fun vibe. My favorite restaurant is Beppe. We happened upon it when we were house hunting. It has a beautiful patio for summer dates and an intimate indoor space that feels warm and comforting. There is something special about the burger and fries!
How Motherhood Has Changed Me
Motherhood has taught me the importance of being calm. My children need me to be calm and reassuring. I found that motherhood can feel like anxiety on steroids. Many times I wondered, how can I keep these two little beings alive? Everything is dangerous!
Motherhood makes me sit in those feelings and focus on what I can control. Then I remember that I need to be a calming presence for my kids in the chaos of their new world.
Why Community is So Important as a Mama
Having a good community was important to me before I had children. I always enjoyed hanging out with friends and connecting with family. I didn’t truly understand community, because I lived on my own and took care of everything by myself. We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and how important it is that your children have people around them that love them as much as you do, or even more. This is exactly why we moved to Michigan–so that we could have support in good and bad situations. I wanted to ensure my children were surrounded by love.
Why I Joined Detroit Mom
Motherhood can be tough. There are a ton of books out there that will tell you what to do. You’ll hear so many opinions on the right way, the best way, to do something for your kids. The truth is: there is no right way to be a mom. Most of the time there’s just a way that works for you and your children. Each child’s needs are different. Mothers are experts in knowing all the things and catering to all the needs. Mothers are superheroes.
I joined Detroit Mom because I want to advocate for moms. I want to be an easy resting place, where a mom can say, “Oh, yea, I’ve been through that . . . I’m not alone.” In my posts, you can expect to see self-care and wellness tips, honest stories on the realities of being a mom (specifically a black mom), and how to be joyful and successful through this mamahood journey.
