A few months ago I saw a picture while scrolling through Facebook. Perhaps you saw it. The picture showed a pregnant woman in what appeared to be a hospital embracing a young child who was sitting on her baby bump. Intrigued I clicked on the article to read what it was all about. The woman in the picture was indeed in the hospital, preparing to be induced. The child was her first born, and her photographer captured the moment of the mother saying goodbye to her child. It went on to explain how heartbreaking it is to say goodbye to that only child status. While it was a very touching moment, it made me stop and think.
Wait.
Does everyone feel like that? Does everyone feel so overwhelmingly sad? Was there something wrong with me that I didn’t feel like this?
When we welcomed our second daughter, Autumn, I don’t remember being sad that my first, Annabelle, wouldn’t be an only child. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that it would be a huge change, but I was overjoyed that Annabelle was getting a sibling.
As an only child I always knew that I wanted a big family, so sadness was not a major emotion I remember feeling. Was I curious how our lives would change? Of course. Was I worried how Annabelle would handle sharing her mom? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. But, did I feel an incredible sadness that Annabelle would no longer be an only child? Nope.
When we brought Autumn home from the hospital, it was a change, but Annabelle was a champ. She loved on her sister like no ones business. If Autumn cried, she was the first to say “Autumn crying. Pick her up!” She showed Autumn toys, and helped me whenever possible. As Autumn grows it is obvious Annabelle still loves “her Autumn” (well maybe not quite as much when she touch’s Annabelle’s toys). Plus, as much as Annabelle loves Autumn, Autumn simply adores her sister. The look on her face when she spies Annabelle is one of pure joy. I love watching their relationship grow and strengthen, and can’t wait for what the future holds (although with how much Autumn already steels her sister’s shoes, I’m a bit worried as well).
Seeing the love they share is why I think I was never sad that Annabelle wasn’t going to be an only child any longer. Why instead of sadness, I felt joy.
What about you? How did you feel when you added a second or third child to your family?
I was so worried bringing home our daughter – my son was almost 5 so he definitely knew a big change was happening. Honestly, sometimes, it’s still an adjustment, but it’s part of learning. Great post!
I hear you! Now that Autumn is mobile, Annabelle’s not to sure anymore…
We’re welcoming our second daughter in February and I’m feeling such a mix of sadness for my daughter and joy for her. I’m also slightly terrified as I had a sister I never really got along with for most of our childhood, but as we grew up we grew closer. I want so desperately for my children to love each other right from the start. I guess only time will tell. This was a lovely post, and an uplifting thing to read this morning.
Congratulations on the second! I can understand how scary it can be since you didn’t get along with your sister. I also know many families who it took a little bit of time for the oldest to warm up to the youngest, and that’s ok. I hope that your two daughters will have an amazing bond!
I was so nervous about this when I had my second child but, the love you feel with two just becomes greater and the moments they share, burst your heart!
I completely agree! Thanks so much for reading!
What a beautiful post! My twins were born shortly after my daughter’s second birthday. It was a scary time and I really worried about Lily’s transition, but it sounds like she’s a lot like your Annabelle – she has embraced the big sister role in a way I never could have imagined! But I didn’t feel much of a sadness either. It definitely felt like the end of a short era, but it didn’t feel sad. Maybe because I’m the youngest of 3, I never had that ‘only child’ experience and, frankly, I think Charlotte and Macy are the greatest gift we could have ever given Lily. My siblings were and are an enormous part of my world. In my life, I think siblings are an amazing gift.
Thanks for sharing, your girls look absolutely perfect. 🙂
Chelsey from TheBakeSite
Thanks so much Chelsey! I agree, it was the end of an era when we added a second. I am so thankful Annabelle has adjusted. Although, now that Autumn is mobile, I think she’s second guessing this sister thing…. 😉
We are starting to think about baby #2, but part of me feels sad that my son will have to share me.
I don’t think anyone is wrong in anything they feel when welcoming a second baby.
Ashley, I totally agree! There is nothing wrong with feeling sad when welcoming a second baby. People feel so many different ways, and that’s ok. 🙂
Oh! This is a great post from someone who only has one currently! xx
Thanks Ashley! 🙂
These pics are so cute! And i can so relate to what you say, i can´t imagine myself being sad for my son not being an only child anymore. I come from a really big family (we´re 5!) so if we can i would definitely love to have more than 1!
Thanks so much! I love having two (and would love to add more). 😉
I just had my second child 6 weeks ago. I had a hard time with my oldest not being my only child anymore. When I dropped him off before going to the hospital, I was excited about the new one coming, but I was also sad about how things were going to change. I think you can feel both emotions at the same time!
But like you said, it’s so fun to watch them together! My older son is just as in love with and protective of his little brother as it sounds like your daughter is. Sometimes change is hard for people, but I know from experience that it often leads to something even better!
Lisa, I agree you can totally feel both emotions at the same time! Adding a child to the family (whether its your first or fifth) is always going to bring change, and so. many. emotions. Isn’t is so much fun to watch sibling relationships grow?? 🙂
I have 2 daughters. I felt apprehensive about adding another little one to my family, yet excited about it at the same time. I come from a big family, so I always knew I wanted 3 kids. I was excited to see my girls bond, but it didn’t happen overnight. I think any new change can be overwhelming, especially for a mom stretching herself yet again for her family. It’s always tough in the beginning, but seeing that sibling bond makes it all worth while.
Diedre, I agree it is always tough in the beginning. So much newness and change can be difficult. Sometimes bonding can take longer to happen, and that’s ok too. 🙂
I wasn’t sad either, until after my second was born and it was painfully hard for my first to adjust. Even now, almost two years later, she merely tolerates him.
I’m sorry to hear you first is having a hard time to adjust. Adding a new little one can def. be challenging. Hopefully things start to look up soon.