One of the hardest parts of being a mom is to help your kids face their fears for their own good. When my daughter was seven, she had no idea how to swim. She relied heavily on her life jacket anytime she was in the water. I tried my hardest to teach her, but it was always a disaster. Each time we were in the water, she just sunk, regardless of what I did. I truly started thinking she would never be a swimmer.
We are also a camping family, meaning we are on lakes often. Last summer I kept seeing posts all over social media and the news about children and adults drowning. It was my absolute worst fear. I resolved to myself that my daughter would learn how to swim. But there was just one problem–she did NOT want to take lessons.
She was adamant that she would always wear a life jacket, even as a teenager. I internally rolled my eyes at this conversation knowing that her future teenage self would want to “fit in” over being safe. After what felt like weeks (actually only a couple of days) of tears, arguments, and begging me not to take lessons, I finally told her it was a life skill she had to learn and there would be no further discussion.
But, of course, I had that nagging feeling of mom guilt. I was forcing my child to do something she was scared to do, even if it was for her own good; even if in the long run, she’d thank me for forcing her to learn how to swim.
The Night Before
The Sunday before her first swim class, my daughter could not sleep. She’d get out of bed with a new “what if” scenario. What if she was the oldest? What if she was bullied? And, what if she drowned?
I knew she was scared to try something new. And rather than get frustrated, I tried to be her rock. We sat down together and walked through what she would do in each scenario. We came up with a specific plan and even looked at pictures of where she would be taking lessons so she could start visualizing the steps before she entered the water.
Seeing her so scared made that nagging feeling of mom guilt get bigger. I kept second guessing pushing her to do something she was obviously afraid to dive into. But, my fear of her drowning while we were camping was larger. I knew in my heart that this was a skill she had to learn.
Natural Born Swimmer
She was extremely apprehensive going into her first lesson. We kept talking about the plans we had created for each of her “what if” questions. When they called her name, of course, she was the oldest in her class by a lot. I took a deep breath and tried reassuring her as much as myself.
When she finally entered the water, the biggest smile came across her face. By the end of the class, she was diving underwater, swimming with her instructor, and laughing. As she walked out of the 30-minute class, she screamed “I love swimming so much!”
We’ve now been going for one-and-a-half months and she has already moved up two levels and has the goal to try out for a swim team. I am so proud of her progress within such a short period.
Lesson Learned
Just like us as adults, we have to encourage and help our kids to face their fears. This action of facing our fears builds resilience. It shows our kids they can do hard things and that we will be there to support them. Had my daughter let her fear talk her out of swim lessons, she never would have realized how much she loves it AND how good she is at swimming.
