DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal perimenopause journey. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about perimenopause or menopause.
After I left my corporate job in 2023, I finally had more time on my hands. Until then, I had never listened to a podcast; Mel Robbins had become one of my favorites. I was out for a walk and I went to put her new episode on and saw the title was something about menopause. I almost turned it off because as a 41-year-old at the time, I didn’t need to worry about that for a LONG time. Or, so I thought. But something kept me listening to the episode and I am so glad I did.
After listening to the podcast I got deep into the trenches of researching perimenopause. So much so, that I have now actually made my career out of it. I took a hard pivot out of finance to become a perimenopause health coach. Because as someone who was very submerged in the health and wellness space, this was all new to me. And if I didn’t know much about it, chances were the people around me really didn’t either.
Let’s Define Perimenopause
According to the Mayo Clinic, perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause. Peri is the Greek word for before. So essentially, it means the time before menopause. This part confuses people. You often hear people say, “I’m going through menopause.” But they really mean, “I am going through PERIMENOPAUSE.” Because menopause is one date on the calendar–the 12-month mark of your last period–like a “Happy Anniversary to My Last Period” date. “Post-menopause” is anything after the date of menopause, and perimenopause is the time leading up to the cessation of your last period.
According to The Office on Women’s Health, perimenopause is where people experience a lot of the symptoms you hear about (and the ones you DON’T)–hot flashes, brain fog, painful sex, dry vagina, anxiety, rage, itchy ears (seriously?!), weight gain, and the list goes on and on. And, this time period can last anywhere from four to ten years PRIOR to your period ending.
Spoiler Alert: You’re Not Too Young for Perimenopause
So as I am listening to this podcast, I realize a few things. I indeed am NOT too young for perimenopause and as a matter of fact–I am most likely in the thick of it.
According to the Mayo Clinic, the average age of menopause (year of the last period) is 51. Since that’s the average, or midpoint, that means that typically people will experience menopause from the ages of 45 to 55. So do the math. If you happen to hit menopause on the younger side and PERIMENOPAUSE happens anywhere from four to ten years prior–that means your symptoms can start in your mid-thirties (mind blown!)!
You’re Not Crazy, But Your Hormones Are
Do you ever feel crazy depending on where you are at in your cycle? It’s not you–it’s your hormones. And during perimenopause your hormones become more erratic which then results in a lot of the symptoms you may be experiencing.
When you get to the root of what is happening in perimenopause, it makes more sense. In a “regular” cycle your estrogen and progesterone will rise and fall depending on your ovulation. As you menstruate, both will be lower. Then estrogen will rise as you start to ovulate. After ovulation, estrogen will lower and progesterone will increase. If an egg is not fertilized, menstruation will happen and the cycle begins again.
During perimenopause though, these waves of hormones are not as harmonious. Estrogen and progesterone both start to decline but not in a linear fashion. Estrogen can spike up high and then get really low. These shifts then start to affect everything like your mood, brain, joints, weight, and so on. So it’s not YOU going crazy–it indeed is your hormones.
Another Myth About Perimenopause
Another thing that shocked me about perimenopause is the lack of education doctors receive in menopause. The average doctor will get one to two hours of training on the subject. One would think, “Well I will just go to my OBGYN, they are versed in women’s health, especially this, right?” WRONG! According to the National Library of Medicine, only 20% of OBGYN residencies offer menopause training and many OBGYNs feel like they would require additional education in menopause management.
So we women are not educated about perimenopause or our hormones in general but our doctors aren’t educated in it either? Correct.
Perimenopause is Not Something to Survive
Historically women have been dismissed as they age. Back in the day doctors would even write “WW” on medical charts when middle aged women would come in. It denoted “whiny woman.” It’s time to change the narrative. We aren’t whiny. Our body is going through drastic changes. We often don’t feel like ourselves anymore and then since we (and our doctors for that matter) have not been educated on this subject, we are told to just “suck it up, it’s part of aging.”
I am calling BS on that! I truly believe by educating ourselves we become empowered to advocate for our health. There is a difference between aging and aging well. Knowledge truly is power to not suffering through this transition.
How to Thrive During Perimenopause
The first thing that is important is observing the changes in your body. Familiarize yourself with the symptoms associated with perimenopause. I personally just thought I was six years postpartum and kept waiting to “feel like myself again.” Once I knew the symptoms of perimenopause, it all made sense. Write down new symptoms you are experiencing and take note of the changes you are going through.
Next, talk to your doctor about your symptoms. Or if you know for a fact your doctor is not versed in menopause, find someone that is. Women often apologize and “feel bad” for severing professional relationships–now is not the time for that. Just because so and so delivered your child and has known your health history for years doesn’t mean they are equipped to help you in this stage of life. And that’s okay!
It’s also okay for you to advocate for your health and find someone who can help you. There’s a really great article by Dr. Mary Clare Haver about approaching your doctor about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and it also has really good information on how to prepare for your visit.
Finding a Menopause Doctor
Here are a few resources to find a menopause specialist:
- Menopause Society Directory: these doctors have earned the extra credentials as a “Menopause Society Certified Practitioner.”
- Menopause Telehealth Companies: there are several telehealth companies out there specializing in menopause including:
Remember–if you were born with ovaries, this is something you will inevitably go through. Educating yourself leads to empowerment. While you can’t avoid menopause, you CAN avoid suffering!
