From ‘Terrible Twos’ to ‘Theatrical Threes’

Parenting is hard. There are days filled with smiles from sun up to sun down and then there are days when I have to take a mommy break in the bathroom to take a deep breath. We’ve hit a new stage in parenting that has been the hardest thus far. Our daughter, Clari, turns 3 this month. A lot moms in a mom’s group I’m in kept warning me that age 2 was nothing compared to 3. I didn’t believe them because what could be harder than the “terrible twos”. Well, the closer we get to 3, I see exactly what they mean.

There are some aspects of raising an almost 3-year-old that stump our household everyday. Not the potty training or switch to a big girl bed, but changes that hit you out of nowhere overnight:

1. Independence – This part has been by far the hardest part for me, especially being pregnant. I’ve discovered that when I’m pregnant I have a whole new level of OCD. This paired with a toddler who really wants to do everything on her own has been hard. Not only does she want to dress herself, but she wants to pick out the clothes, put them on by herself in a room by herself, and wants absolutely no help. She wants to pour her own milk into her cereal bowl. Not just out of a pre-poured cup, but out of the completely full gigantic Costco milk carton. I find myself compromising a lot more then I thought I ever would as a parent. She is proud of herself when she accomplishes a task on her own. On those days when she is taking 30 minutes do design her own outfit for a day at home, I try to remember how proud she will look when she comes running out of her room. 
   
2. The Dramatics – Now if you were to ask my husband he would say that the dramatics came from me. Not only has Clari hit a new level of dramatics, but they come out of nowhere and blindside you. The other morning she had her usual bowl of cereal for breakfast. Same routine every morning – I poured the cereal, she picked out what color spoon she wanted, and met at the table. This day she let me pour the milk by myself (thank y0u). Less than 5 seconds after pouring the milk, she was in hysterics. When I asked her what was wrong, her response was: “THE MILK IS TOUCHING MY CEREAL TOO FAST!” I didn’t know how to respond, probably because my first cup of coffee was still sitting full and untouched on the counter. Together we told the milk to please slow down next time. The next day I poured the milk the same exact way, no dramatics this time around…
3. Negotiations – If you were to ask me and my husband prior to having children if we would ever negotiate with them, we would’ve said absolutely not. If you were to ask us now we’d look at each other and say “How else do we get through the day?” Of course there are things that we just won’t negotiate over, but other times negotiating and compromising is how we get through. It can be as simple as “You have to wear socks today because it’s cold outside. You can pick your own socks, but you must wear some.” or the other extreme “If you poop on the potty right now instead of in your pants I will give you two cookies.” No shame in my game! Negotiations and compromises go hand in hand with their independence. They will push the buttons and all the limits, but it’s our job as parents to give them choices without going too far. 

As trying as age 3 is on us parents, I remind myself everyday that her little mind is in a confusing place right now. She doesn’t know if she wants to be a big girl or baby and I’m okay with that. I try (really, really hard) to embrace and encourage her big girl side, but absorb those baby moments when she offers them up. It’s my goal everyday to make sure I’m lifting her up and not down. Even on the days I feel like I’m ready to drop or call my husband desperately asking when he will be home, I remind myself to embrace it. It’s hard on them too.

Here’s to age 3 and all the theatrics these little babes offer with it!