The Gender Issue: Why I’m not forcing it with my kids

SPIDERIRONMANColin (boy) left – Reagan (girl) right

“You can’t play with dolls – you’re a boy.”

“You don’t want a pink birthday cake, you’re a boy.”

“Football is for boys.  You should be a ballet dancer!”

We’ve all heard these statements before when it comes to children.  I, for one, cannot stand it when people say things like this to my kids.  The only reason why people have the idea in their heads that pink is for girls and blue is for boys is because our society has shoved the gender role stereotypes down our throats.  Let me assure you here and now – if you let your son wear a dress to school or if you teach your daughter everything there is to know about what’s under the hood of a car – they will still turn out to be amazing people.  Forcing the issue can only shame children into thinking what they’re doing is wrong.  It only seems wrong to some people because of the ‘rule’ someone made up a long, long, long, LONG time ago.  Why can’t we just let kids be who they are and love them for who they turn out to be? 

My son, Colin prefers a tea party over playing monster trucks any day.  My daughter Reagan is going to be The Hulk for Halloween.  It’s who they are – it makes them happy.  My husband and I have, in no way, shape or form swayed either of them to pursue ‘blue’ things or ‘pink’ things according to their respective genders.  Colin shops the pink aisle at Target like a pro.  He also loves to push the baby stroller around and give the doll a bottle.  I’m currently watching Reagan beat the crap out of the couch with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sword.  In the same breath, when I stub my toe on the stairs Reagan is the one to console me and wipe my tears.  Colin is also the one to fly his Buzz Lightyear around the room and tell me how he’s gonna beat the bad guy.  They are CHILDREN.  They know nothing of hate, discrimination and all the other ugly and horrible things this world contains.  They know innocence, purity and happiness.  They are hurting no one. 

Children are going to encounter enough adversity in their lives.  We should keep their childhood free of unnecessary judgment.

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Top – Reagan works on projects with Daddy with her safety goggles on

Bottom – Colin as the Queen last year at the Renaissance Festival

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Amber Cross
Amber has two young children and her husband serves in the United States Coast Guard as a Master Chief. He has been to New York twice, Alaska, South Carolina (where she joined him in 2009) and two billets in Michigan, their home state. Their final tour will be spent in California. Amber is a Michigan girl to the absolute core. In what free time she has, she enjoys yoga, aromatherapy, *all-things-Detroit* and sweet, sweet sleep.

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