Never Grow Up


I remember when I was little, my dad saying to me, “I’m going to give you a shot that will make you stay little forever.” As a child, I thought that it was entirely possible to do and it always made me angry that he didn’t want me to grow up. At the time I obviously didn’t understand what he meant but I’m quickly learning myself that babies don’t stay babies for very long.



It was just yesterday that he was wearing my favorite newborn long-sleeved romper and we were snuggling in the rocking chair as I just stared down at him in awe that he was mine. I remember those moments, sometimes wondering how I’d ever make it through the day without a nap, thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until he can smile back at me.” But then that day came and he was surpassing my expectations too quickly. He started to giggle, then roll over and eventually crawl. The crawling turned into walking and now he can communicate his wants and needs like a big boy. Everyday gets better than the last, and while he’s growing and learning, I sometimes find myself struggling to enjoy the moments because I’m curious to see the little boy he will become. 


In our culture, it’s second nature to always be thinking one step ahead and focus on where we’re going next. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned about having a child, it is to stop and take a moment to breathe it all in because before you know it, they’re off to kindergarten, and graduating high school and marrying the (wo)man of their dreams. You can read all the baby books, and seek guidance from family and friends, but no one can prepare you for how quickly the days, months and years go by when you’re raising children.


If I only have one wish that can turn into reality, my wish is for time to stand still for at least a few minutes each day so we can always remember the best memories. If for some reason I’m lucky enough to be granted a second wish, please, Holden, never grow up.

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