Let’s get something clear right away: “golf night” is in quotations because what I’m about to say has nothing to do with actual golf, save for a few dad-joke golf-puns.
Mama, you need a “golf night!” What is golf night, you ask? First of all, it’s scheduled for the same time on the same night every week for six, eight, 12, or even 52 weeks out of the year. On that night, you go do WHATEVER you want to do; mani/pedi, see a movie, get the “tee” from the girls, read a book in the park, workout, or even GOLF! You can do the same thing every time or switch it up. I want to cordially welcome you to the Mothers’ “Golf League!”
Golf night came to be in our family shortly after our first daughter was born. We had moved back to Michigan in the summer of 2014, bought a house, and quickly unpacked before she was born in October. We joyfully muddled our way through the newborn phase, holidays, and my return to work. Spring had us feeling refreshed, we were coming up for air, and craving some social interaction with a desire to get reacquainted with our community. So, in the spring of 2015, when my husband brought up joining a community golf league, I enthusiastically gave my blessing.
But while he’s golfed his whole life, I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve played putt-putt. A golfer I am not, so this was his thing, every Thursday night for 12 weeks.
I think I solo-parented after a full day’s work for about six weeks when I realized my mulligan. Where was MY “golf night?” That night I began to discuss my own golf night with my husband. As you can imagine, he was thrilled at the idea of me learning the game of golf and began puttering on about clubs and lessons. Talk about slicing his dream!
My platform was that it was only fair-way if he got a night away from the work-parent-clean-up-go-to-bed-late-get-up-early-and-do-it-all-over-again grind that I should get one, too. Naturally he was curious what I was going to do with my “golf night” if I wasn’t actually golfing. And there was the mild concern of us not eating dinner together as a family two nights a week, every week. (Oh, how green we were!).
Not gonna lie, it was a little rough in the beginning. Par for the course, I had some serious mom-guilt. And on my first “golf night,” I didn’t know what to do with myself. I went to an exercise class and then came home. Totally shanked it. But as toddlerhood and teething and job stresses slogged on, I got a lot better at it. I could easily schedule with girlfriends weeks in advance or even the day of! I knew exactly when to book hair appointments, massages, or the coveted evening doctor appointment. Sure I still put it in the family calendar (too many true crime podcasts have ingrained into me that someone should know where I am at all times, but that’s another story for another day), but I didn’t need to worry about discussing it with my husband, working out daycare pick-up, dinner, etc. I could just GO.
Hopefully, Mama, self-care is not a new concept to you. But, in a world where we’re all still trying to attain it while mitigating mommy-guilt, grab your driver (Uber or Titleist), and schedule your “golf night.” See you out on the range!