I’m a Mom, not a Young Mom. When I got pregnant with our first I was 22 years old. I was very fresh out of college, embarking on my first year of teaching, Ryan just started Graduate School, and we were enjoying being adults during the week and carefree on the weekends. I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant. You always hear the “horror stories” about having a baby before you’re out of your early 20s. AND we weren’t married. You expect the “here’s your one way ticket to you-know-where” stereotype to immediately be thrown your way.
My first raw thoughts were a blur: what about my career, the degree I just worked so hard for, my freedom, we aren’t married….what will people think? I remember feeling embarrassed prior to announcing we were pregnant, like I should be embarrassed about having a baby before “they” said it was time. Then it hit me…I was going to be a mom.
I put all of those negative thoughts out of my mind. I could have a career any day, a new life was about to begin, and marriage…we’d get there.
Like any mom when you start to go to your appointments and you hear the heartbeat on your ultrasound, there’s a part in you that melts. I specifically remember Ryan looking at me and saying “We can do this.” I needed to hear that. When we started to share with others that we were pregnant there was everything from “Congratulations!” to “Ohh, you are? Wow, you are going to be such a young mom.” No, I’m going to be a mom.
I try (really hard) to look at the other side, and there are perks to being a young mom too:
- I feel like I’ve had a chance to rediscover myself prior to jumping into years of a career or hobby. After becoming a mom I discovered that I have a love for writing and it’s therapeutic for me. I can’t say if I would’ve spent 10 years teaching then became a mom that this would’ve happened for me.
- Clari has gotten to be apart of some of our greatest moments in life thus far. Ryan walked across the stage to receive his Masters Degree in Aerospace Engineering with Clari squealing and waving from the crowd. When we got married she was sitting front row trying to figure out how to get to the sparkles on my dress.
- I’m forever thankful that Clari has all of her Grandparents present and very active in her life. They are still able to be the on the floor, romp and roll type of grandparents. Clari was also able to meet her Great-Great Grandparents. Now that’s a blessing I’ll forever cherish.
To this day when I’m out with my daughter, I’ll encounter that wonderful stranger that wants to suggest something in parenting. I often hear:
“You are such a young mom.”
“You are her mom, not babysitter?”
“You aren’t old enough to be pregnant again!”
I’m a mom, people! I wake up in the middle of the night when my toddler needs re-tucked in. I make organic meals only to end up putting chicken nuggets in front of her. I picnic at the park and push her on the swing until I get tired and bribe her to go home. We are all moms doing the same song and dance. Age is just a number and has nothing to do with your parenting.
I won’t let anyone make me think that I missed out on my young twenties. Frankly, my favorite kind of Friday night is watching Frozen (for the billionth time) and sharing a bowl of popcorn with my family. The only thing I’m missing out on when dwelling on what society has decided is “correct”, are those precious moments I could be spending with my little babe.
To the young mom reading this, don’t let that negative person get you down. To the young mom who doesn’t have a ring on that finger, you are a rockstar mom and a wedding has nothing to do with that. Let’s build all the moms up, not down!
