With three young children {6, 4 & 23 months} there are several days of the week where I feel like I just don’t have it all together. Despite my best juggling efforts, chaos becomes the order of the day, and I start to feel a little crazed…..a little crazy!
On any given day:
- There is clean laundry all over my bedroom floor.
- Yesterday’s makeup is smeared under my eyes and I look like a raccoon.
- There are toys on literally every available surface of my home.
- My school drop-off clothing has become a uniform: yoga pants, a fleece, my rainboots (even when it’s not raining because they are just so easy to slip on), and sunglasses (even when it is raining because you know….the aforementioned raccoon eyes).
- I can’t find a matching sock for anyone in the house to save my life
- Have you ever heard of a Toothpaste Massacre? ‘Cause it’s a reality in our home!
- Last night’s dinner dishes? Still on the counter.
And the list goes on….
As a person who thrives on order and organization, it’s a hard pill to swallow. I want things to be neat and organized, I want to look somewhat presentable when encountering other parents at 8:30 am in the school parking lot. How am I supposed to make mom friends when my hair resembles a Sea Urchin?!
But the reality is this:
- I choose sleep over primping. With a teething toddler prone to ear infections, I take sleep when and where I can find it. Sometimes I can wake up at 5am and get ready for the day; most days, I choose the welcoming embrace of shut-eye.
- Yesterday’s make up {if even worn!} is still on my face because I fell asleep reading stories to my 6-year-old. He still wants to snuggle and I’m relishing in those stolen, quiet moments with him.
- The clean laundry on my floor? Anyone who has attempted laundry for a family of 5 with two little “helpers” knows the drill: I can’t even begin to start an organized pile before it’s destroyed.
- Matching socks? The sock monster is alive and well, and living in my dryer. Matching exact stripes and patterns isn’t worth the time and effort.
- Last night’s dinner dishes: this one still gets to me. I love a clean kitchen in the morning, it lends such a fresh and new feeling to start the day. But putting 3 kids to bed should qualify as an Olympic event. My husband and I are tired afterwards: so. incredibly. tired. Sometimes we favor relaxing over cleaning the dishes – a few, stolen moments just for ourselves. Often, we fall asleep with the kids while reading, talking, or snuggling with them.
So I have a choice: I can stress about being mega-organized, put-together and always on top of my game, or I can allow chaos to reign a little bit in my home for the greater good of spending quality time with my children. I choose time with my children. When I start to feel frustrated about those dirty dishes or that laundry pile, I remind myself that this time is so fleeting: my kiddos will not be young forever. They will eventually learn to fully spread their wings. It’s happening every day. Each milestone, every accomplishment, each step forward for my three little ones is a step away from their dependence on me. It’s a wonderful and sad notion all in one.
Some days I do have it all together: when all 3 kids sleep until 7, when no one is up at night for a potty break, a bad dream, or teething pain, when the stars magically align and I have the opportunity to shower, dress and enjoy a hot cup of coffee before my brood awakens. But most days, I know I must look a little crazy with my school drop-off uniform fully in place, and my untamed curly hair thrown up in a “messy” bun {only girls with curls will understand this one: a messy bun is our reality, not a style!}.
Don’t misunderstand me: I adore my children, and the life we have together. I wouldn’t change it for the world. By choosing and embracing our happy little chaos, I’ve learned so much about life and living and the unconditional love that a parent has for a child. To date, parenting has been the greatest challenge, lesson and blessing of my life. Some days it’s just crazy hard.
So if you see me in the elementary school parking lot, at preschool drop-off or even at the grocery store {where my kids will likely be snacking on the very effective grocery-store-bribe of doughnut holes}: Yes, I may look a little crazed. Please, don’t judge! I’m just a mom in the trenches, trying to do her best.
I remember when my kids were little and I would make a list of things to do and feel so accomplished if I could get more than one thing on the list done. Parenting is hard, but soooooooooooooooooo worth it.