Ahhh – the honeymoon phase – that time when you lose track of how many times you have sex in a 24 hour period. In fact, you actually WANT to have so much sex in a 24-hour period that you lose track. That was an amazing time.
Then you have so much sex that you get pregnant. Maybe that was your goal! My husband and I conceived our first child 9 days or so after we got married. That was our plan. We started literally the minute we got home from our wedding reception.
You and your husband talk about the future and how you don’t want your love for each other to change and you promise each other that you’ll still have copious amounts of sex no matter what. You’ll still use the words “sexy” and “hot” to describe your sex life.
Heh. That’s cute.
I’d just like to say that I still find my husband as “hot” and “sexy” as I did the day I first laid eyes on him. He actually became more attractive to me when he became a daddy. However…
The newborn phase is a rude awakening. You picture in your mind how you think parenthood will be and then they lay that little baby in your arms and it’s honestly the EXACT opposite of any of the books I’ve read or movies I’ve seen. It completely takes up every moment of every minute of every hour of every day for those first few months. Everything else kind of takes a backseat – including your sex life.
Doctor’s orders tell us no sex for 4-6 weeks and possibly longer depending on your birth story. I’m guessing you are in one of these categories: You’re saying 4-6 weeks until I can have sex again??? I can’t wait to pounce on my husband!! OR you’re saying: Thank God I have an excuse not to have my husband ‘poke’ me in the middle of the night. If you’re in the first category, GO you! That’s amazing. I wish I had your drive and enthusiasm. However, if you’re in the second category – I feel you, sister. Fatigue, recovering baby body, mesh underwear – that doesn’t scream sex to me.
After the newborn phase passes a whole slew of milestones and memories begin to occur. One element remains: Fatigue. From the time I open my eyes in the morning until my children are asleep I am constantly driving, buying, wiping, filling, playing, crying, kissing, etc. It never ends. It’s all I can do to walk to my bedroom and turn down the sheets let alone heat them up with a romp in the sack. I feel like I went from Milk Machine to Human Booger Wipe to someone my husband used to know. Motherhood has taken it all out of me.
So, with that being said – how do we get it back? Again – I still find my hubby attractive and I want to be there for him ‘that way’. It’s not only me that’s lost the spark due to the tired mess of parenthood. He’s just as tired as I am most of the time. We have an open discussion about it every now and then and by no means are we ‘dry’ forever. It usually happens at the most unusual of times and I’ve found that we usually take it wherever and whenever we can get it (or however we can do it where the kids will be distracted for a bit).
We can’t be the only ones out there who still have CRAZY passion and mad love for each other, but just can’t seem to stay awake long enough to enjoy an intimate moment alone together. It’s kind of a sensitive subject with some and I, for one, believe it deserves some attention!! Who’s with me?
Share your story with us! How do you find time for your significant other through the chaos of parenthood! We want to hear from you!
Sister, I am hip to your jive