To the woman he left us for:
Do you remember us? Do you remember me? My son? I bet you do. I bet you think of me, of us, as frequently as I think of you. Do you remember the MySpace message you sent me, telling me he would never pick us? To find someone else to love my baby, because he never will? I bet you do. I bet you remember.
Were you with him when he picked up his stuff off the front porch? You know, I was awake at 2AM when he came, a new mom attempting to soothe a newborn back to sleep.
I am assuming he lies to you about seeing his son and paying child support. I mean, how else could you, a mother, be okay with him not being a part of his son’s life? Does he tell you he sees him, or did he tell you that I won’t let him? I can imagine the stories he created, that he rehearsed the lines to, the lies he fed you with his pleading, big, brown eyes and long eyelashes, begging you to believe him, not wanting to be caught again.
I guess, I should be happy he picked you over us, a blessing disguised by pain and hurt. Because, girl, let me tell you: I did not and do not have the patience or the tolerance to put up with those mind games. I bet you have a higher tolerance for that nonsense than me. Sometimes, his presence seems like a dream, it seems like such a long time ago when he was here.
I have a question for you though. What do you think I should tell my son when he cries and asks about his dad? That he chose you over us? That he is a liar and cheat? Or when he asks about a sibling? I bite my tongue, knowing he really does have at least one half-brother. Will he ever get to meet his half sibling?
In my attempt, to be the better person I have told him his dad moved far away. That he is too far away, or that he just made a different choice. Which is kind of true, right? He chose to walk away, to pretend we don’t exist. That his child does not even exist.
Well, if you are reading this, you’ll know if it is you I am talking to. It is my turn to dish out the advice. Chances are, he is still lying to you. (I am sure you are familiar with the term, “once a cheater, always a cheater”?) You supporting a deadbeat dad makes you just as bad as him. No woman, should be okay with “her man” not taking care of his kids. For abandoning his child, in every sense of the word. Did you know that in the State of Michigan, he has officially abandoned his child? Do you care? More importantly, does he care? I know the answer.
Let me tell you one more thing. My son, is not lacking for a male role model. He has the biggest heart, caring beyond belief. He loves science, math, and annoying YouTube videos. He will be just fine with just me. He will know how to be a “good dad” and man, by all the ways his dad wasn’t.
Sincerely,
The Mom Who Won’t Forget
