I remember my mother’s belly, marked with grooves and lines, a soft map of her journey through motherhood. As a child, I traced my fingers over those ridges, noticing how different they were from the smooth skin around my own belly button. She never spoke of it, but I sensed her discomfort. I promised myself I would always love my body (or get a tummy tuck if I wanted it!).
My stomach was never perfectly flat, but I loved it anyway. I wore crop tops with confidence, flaunted swimsuits without hesitation, and felt fully at home in my skin. Then I got pregnant with twins . . .
At first, I was fascinated by my changing body, how my belly stretched to accommodate two growing babes. I had years of self-love under my belt, so I assumed I would embrace this transformation just as easily. I piled on oils, massaged in lotions, convinced that I could control the outcome. There would be no stretch marks for me.
Barely Noticing Myself
Then my twins were born, and suddenly, my body didn’t feel like my own anymore. For a while, I barely noticed myself. I was consumed by being a mom. Feedings, diaper changes, sleepless nights . . . my body became an afterthought, a vessel that had done its job and was now pushed aside.
But about a year later, as I prepared for a friend’s wedding, I stood in front of my mirror and truly saw myself for the first time in months. My clothes fit differently. My hips were wider. My stomach carried a new apron of skin from my C-section. The grooves and ripples I had fought so hard to prevent had taken up permanent residence on my belly and hips.
I felt resentment. I wasn’t angry at my twins, but at the body that had changed without my permission. I had always loved my reflection. Why couldn’t I love this version of me? I knew I couldn’t stay in this place of self-loathing and hate. So, I set out on a journey, not to “fix” my body, but to fall in love with it again.
Beginning the Journey
If you’re wondering how you can love yourself and love your body when it feels so foreign to you after pregnancy, I see you. I’ve been there, and so have countless other mothers. I want you to know: it’s okay. It’s okay if you don’t recognize yourself right now. It’s okay if you’ve had moments of regret or frustration. It’s okay if you’ve dreamed of surgery or a “mommy makeover” that feels out of reach.
I found that the real turning point wasn’t about changing my body: it was about finding things I could love or appreciate about myself right now. That little shift gave me permission to enjoy life again, to love clothes again, and to smile in photos again. Stretch marks, soft bellies, thick curves that feel unfamiliar–they don’t define you. You get to choose what kind of mom you are, whether you are the “sad about your body mama” or the “learning to love myself into a happy, confident mama.” Here’s how you can make the transition to loving yourself again, like I did:
Talk It Out in Therapy
I knew I needed help shifting my perspective. Talking to a therapist changed everything. A therapist is an unbiased sounding board, a place where you can unload your thoughts without guilt or fear of judgment. I had spent months feeling like I was “burdening” loved ones with my struggles, but therapy reminded me that my feelings were valid. My pain was real. And I deserved space to process it.
A good therapist helps you untangle emotions and step outside of overwhelming thoughts. I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t failing. I was simply learning how to embrace a new version of myself.
Speak Kindly to Your Body
Before, when I looked in the mirror, I’d hear: “My body is strange. My body is ugly. This body is not mine.” But I realized something: those words weren’t true. They were just a negative talk track. So, I changed them.
Every day, I looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud: “My body is beautiful. My body is strong. My body gave life to two beautiful healthy babies.” At first, it felt forced, but over time, these words became my truth. My reality. The more I spoke kindness into my reflection, the more I began to believe it.
Even now that I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight, my body is still thicker and my hips are wider. There are still days when I look in the mirror and think, is this what I will always look like? It’s no longer a negative observation, but more a curiosity and wondering about what’s next for my body and me. Now, with weeks and months of practice under my belt, when I look in the mirror, I can finally see a woman who is confident, sexy, and loves herself again.
Dress for the Body You Have Now
For months, I had held onto my pre-pregnancy clothes, trying to squeeze into pieces that no longer fit quite right. Each ill-fitting item felt like a reminder of what I had lost. So, I stopped punishing myself.
I created a clothing budget and started buying pieces that fit my new body beautifully. Maybe it was a $15 shirt one month, or a $200 dress the next—but each new item felt like an act of self-love. I mixed them with my old favorites, learning to embrace the shape I had now. Most importantly, I prioritized clothes that made me feel confident and comfortable, because when you’re running after twins, you need both.
I won’t pretend that loving my new body happened overnight. I still catch myself longing for my old shape, but then I remember: this body created life. It endured. It transformed. And it’s mine.
So, I choose love. Every day, I choose love. If you’re struggling, I hope you choose love too.
