“Am I a mediocre mom?” is the question I ask myself as I scroll through the posts from those I follow on Facebook, Instagram, and in online mom groups, constantly seeing posts that embrace being a “mediocre mom.” Some posts I can relate to, but others, well, I question whether they’re actually telling the truth or just trying to fit in with the “bad moms” club.
Listen, I’m all for forming connections with other moms. It’s seriously awesome when we can confess our parenting failures and laugh at our mistakes without judgment, reminding us that we are not alone. But, considering ourselves “mediocre,” I beg to differ. Mediocre is defined as “moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance” with synonyms such as “ordinary,” “so-so,” “passable,” and “run-of-the-mill”…aka: average.
OK, so then again I question myself: “Am I a mediocre mom?” Well, I thought about it and concluded that though I’m not a perfect mom, I also wouldn’t consider myself (or even you) a mediocre one either.
Hey, I don’t know about you, but I don’t enjoy nor appreciate mediocre service. Wouldn’t want mediocre friendships. Or accept having a mediocre marriage. So why would I ever want to strive for mediocrity in my parenting and give my child a “mediocre mom” version of myself?
Since when did the lack of striving for perfection automatically equate to failure or mediocrity? I understand that wanting to be a perfect mom is a bit silly mainly because it’s not possible. But striving to be the best mom you can be (whatever that looks like for you) is something I can accept.
During a recent scroll session, I ran across this quote:
“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” – Donna Bell
OK yeah, that one hits home! If you are a mom reading this, then you can probably relate. And let me tell you something: having the ability to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own is absolutely extraordinary.
With that being said, if you want to wear the “mediocre mom” badge of honor, by all means, do you, boo! Use whatever adjective you want to describe yourself as a mom or your parenting style for that matter. But please stop this borderline abusive self-talk and negative self-criticism to the point to where you’re labeling yourself as a failure.
No, you won’t get it right every time. Hey, that’s #momlife. But stop beating yourself up about it! You’re doing your best, and that’s what counts. We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we are failing our children. We are learning daily. Motherhood is a journey and, as with any journey, it has its ups and downs, but we grow along the way. The goal is to learn from our mistakes and do better next time.
So, mama, I’m just here to remind you to be easy on yourself! Forgive yourself for your mishaps, practice more loving self-talk, and celebrate your small victories often. Strive for your best and be the best mom that you know how; your children will appreciate you for being you.