As a mom, I often find myself knee-deep in a whirlwind of responsibilities. From keeping my house presentable to caring for my kids and tackling the never-ending laundry, I sometimes feel like I’m juggling plates! And let’s not even discuss my appearance—heaven forbid I show up anywhere looking like I just rolled out of bed, thanks to those influencers!
Like many moms, I often found myself struggling with feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to be the perfect parent. I noticed that these feelings were common among my friend and colleagues, sparking conversations about the daily challenges we face. My journey with mom guilt has been a roller coaster ride. I’ve felt it in moments of doubt, such as when I have had to prioritize work over my family or when I can’t attend every hockey practice or game. Each instance prompted me to reflect on what it means to be a good mother. Spoiler alert: it’s not always perfect.
The Struggle of Mom Guilt
My to-do list seems to grow endlessly, and the pressure to keep it all together makes any mom feel like she’s starring in the movie Groundhog Day. One of the hardest things for moms is the guilt that comes with wanting to take a break. Why do we feel like we need a permission slip to put our feet up? It’s as if our inner critic constantly reminds us that taking a moment for ourselves means we’re slacking off.
I recently listened to a podcast that hit home: working moms not only clock in for a full-time job, but also come home to a second shift of stay-at-home mom duties. It’s certainly not the BOGO deal I asked for! It brought to light how I juggle my professional responsibilities during the day, only to come home to another full-time role as a homemaker and caretaker.
For me, this means transitioning from the classroom to managing dinner, homework, being a taxi drive for sports, and family time, often feeling like I’m being stretched in multiple directions. I find myself questioning if I’m doing enough in both roles, and the podcast reinforced the idea that this struggle is not just mine.
The Temptation to Overcommit
It’s no wonder that when we finally have a free moment, we feel the overwhelming urge to fill it. “Oh, I have a slot available! Let me just schedule a dentist appointment, a school committee meeting, and a birthday party for a child I don’t even know!” We turn into overzealous event planners, but we’re really just planning our own burnout. The fear of missing out on opportunities or disappointing others can drive us to over-commit, even to activities that don’t truly enrich our lives. However, if we resist this urge to over-schedule ourselves, we might discover the transformative power of downtime.
Embracing those moments of stillness–and silence–can lead to greater self-reflection and ultimately a deeper connection with ourselves and our families. Instead of rushing to fill the calendar, we should be prioritizing rest and rejuvenation, allowing us to show up as our best selves, both at work and at home. This perspective can lead to a more balanced life, where we find joy in the simple moments instead of being consumed by the pressure of being Instagram perfect and feeling the pressure of mom guilt.
Moms Deserve to Take a Time-Out
But here’s the thing: moms deserve to chill out! It’s time to stop feeling guilty for wanting to kick back and enjoy a few episodes of our favorite show. A well-rested mom can be more productive and enjoyable to be around! So, let’s give ourselves a time-out–even if it means stepping away from our never-ending to-do lists.
In my own journey toward ditching the mom guilt and finding that much-needed balance, I’ve implemented several strategies to carve out time for rest and relaxation. One of the first steps I took was purchasing a Skylight calendar, which allows me to see all of our family activities at a glance. This has helped me avoid overbooking ourselves and has given me the freedom to say “No” to commitments that don’t serve my well-being.
I’ve also embraced meal prepping for lunch each day. This simple change lets me savor a warm cup of coffee while I take a moment for myself instead of rushing through breakfast. Utilizing my slow cooker has been another game-changer, freeing up time in the evenings when I’d typically be scrambling to make dinner.
I’ve also prioritized working out as a vital part of my self-care routine. Exercise is a fantastic outlet for managing my anxiety and helps me feel more centered and energetic throughout the day.
I encourage other moms to find their own “time-out” moments—whether that means taking a long bath, reading a book, or simply enjoying some quiet time with a cup of tea. Remember, stepping away from daily tasks isn’t selfish; it’s essential for our well-being. So, let’s empower each other to embrace those moments of rest, reminding ourselves that taking time for ourselves ultimately benefits our families, too.
The Importance of Self-Care
Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential! Let’s put our feet up, sip on that cup of coffee or wine, and embrace the chaos that comes with motherhood. After all, if we don’t take the time to recharge, how can we expect to tackle the next challenge that comes our way?
