In our house, family dinner is the one time of the day we all sit down together. We use this time to regroup as a family to discuss our days over a delicious meal. While I know this isn’t doable for all families or stages of life, this is what works for us and what we plan to keep moving as we grow older and stronger. I always want to have a dedicated time of day where we can regroup as a family, and if dinner ends up not working as we change seasons, I will find time at breakfast or another part of the day! Dining out continues to be an area we love to include in our lifestyle and introduce our dudes, too.
While having no phones at the table is easy to abide by at home, venturing out into the world of restaurants is a completely different beast. However, we are a no-phones-at-the-table family. Period. You read that right. We are for no phones at the table ALL THE TIME! Wondering how we actually made that happen? Or if you, too, can introduce this to your kids? I got you. Below is our story and just what we did to make the transition happen.
Our Story
My husband Michael and I absolutely love food. We consider ourselves foodies. After 10 years in Chicago and years of travel around the world, we’ve had our fair share of amazing meals. Once we had children, we knew we wanted to introduce them into the world of food and all the aspects of the food scene. Dining out became a regular part of our lifestyle, and we wanted our children to understand how to behave in a restaurant environment. Of course we went through the phase where we never thought we’d be able to dine out ever again and then the phase where we thought we might lose our sh*t every time we were out. And, admittedly, we moved into the phase of “just give them your phone and we can have an actual adult conversation while we are out”; however, we stayed comfortable in this phase for longer than I think we’d both actually like to admit. It wasn’t until we traveled to Disney for our oldest son’s 5th birthday that we truly realized we had created a major problem as neither of them partook in any communication at the table. The whole premise of us going out was for our children to experience things, and yet here they were, nose-deep in technology. Things had to change.
How We Made Change
We collectively decided we were going to put an end to having phones at the table anywhere, any time. To ensure this happened, we had to get all of our family members on board as they often help out with the boys, so we can run the business. As many of you might know, change is hard. It’s hard on adults and even harder on kids. The thing with kids though is they’re more resilient than we give them credit for.
The first several outings without phones were not great. We had several meltdowns. But we were committed to making a change for the better. We wanted to bring family back to the dining experience. As we furthered ourselves down this no phone journey, the meltdowns became less and less frequent. What we expected from our boys stayed consistent, and they were fully aware of our expectations. I truly believe the key to our success has been consistency. We have stayed true to the no-phone rule and, in turn, have had to transition from adult conversation to involve our kids in the conversation. We have stopped eating to take our children for a walk or even time in the car if they cannot pull themselves back together.
No Phones…Now What?
My guess is you might be wondering what exactly our kids do when we go out to eat. Or how we get them to stay sitting for that long without some form of technology in front of them? We are, by no means, experts in this. But we bring toys. Yep, lots and lots of toys. In fact, both our kids have designated restaurant or outing backpacks for all their things!
When we first started this adventure, we helped the boys select toys we knew would be restaurant-appropriate. As time has moved on and our dudes grow older, they are now able to pack their bags independently with items they know will keep them busy and happy while we wait for food. Some of our favorite go-to toys are Magnatiles, LEGOs, small cars, stickers, and coloring materials. We have moved into playing games as a family, and, really, there are even times where our kids sit and carry on conversations with us or each other as we dine out.
Who’s in Charge?
Ultimately the goal for us with no phones at the table is to create an experience in the moment, showing our children how to be present and experience life. I understand this might seem daunting or a change you don’t believe you can make. But, I encourage you to truly think about what you are doing for your child by allowing them to experience everyday moments of life together. Remind yourself often that you are the one in charge. While it might not feel that way, you, at times, are. You own that phone. You get to make the rules. You can be the change!
