Let me preface this by saying I’m absolutely thrilled that we are adding another baby to our family. I can’t wait to sniff this little babe’s neck and already find a thrill in folding the ever-so-small onesies. I feel very blessed and thankful that we are able to give our daughter a sibling and continue to grow our family, but…
Baby #2 is ROUGH. I was warned by my friends, doctor, strangers (uh, thanks), etc., but it’s not something you realize until you are in it.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, our first, I felt this everlasting glow and felt like I radiated when I walked. It was all new and every moment I had to embrace. This time around it’s all different.
First, my body feels so different. Every time I mention a new ache or pain from to my doctor it’s the same response: “Well the second or proceeding pregnancies are always hard on the body.” Not that I want him to hold my hand and let me cry into his shoulder while it feels like my pelvic bone is going to split apart with 10 weeks to go, but maybe I do? I try to remind myself that my body is doing a wonderful thing – growing a human. I’m allowed to feel achy and I can whine when I do.
Second, I have had a really hard time in the taking care of myself department. My husband does more than his fair share when he’s home, but during the day I’m kind of on my own. I struggle in the balance between taking care of myself and worrying about everyone else’s needs. When I was pregnant with our first, I didn’t have any extra responsibilities. Now we own a house, I’m home all day, there’s another child that needs tending to, and all the adult responsibilities that fall in between. Some days I have to realize that I can’t do it all and I’m thankful for a husband that can read my demeanor the moment he walks in the door. It feels good when someone puts you first. Like when my husband ties my shoes, below!
There are some moments where I find myself having to sit back and tell our 3-year-old that mommy needs a break. Sometimes there’s more TV on during the day then I like, our outside play time in the 90 degree heat is often cut short, and daddy seems to be the “fun guy” these days. I have major mom guilt most days because I can tell that she senses changes happening in our house. I had to hide in the bathroom and cry the other day. It was a long hard day. She woke up at 5am with no nap all day for either of us and I was done. It was around 4:30pm and I had just started cooking dinner. She came in the kitchen and said “When will daddy be home? He will play with me.” I had to cry because she clearly sees us in different lights. But I’m reminded at the end of the day when she snuggles up to my belly during story time that I’m still her mama and even with all the changes we hold a special place in each other’s hearts.
I often say “These last few weeks need to speed up!” or “I’m just ready for her to get here.” I try remember that even when my feet hurt and a popsicle gives heartburn: having a baby is a wonderful thing. Though I may not be feeling “the glow” this time around, I can’t wait to see the glow on our new edition’s face when they enter the world.
